When my oldest son Jack was 2, he would often fall asleep in hard to find places, the dog bed, a dresser drawer, in the closet, you name it – In an effort to find him, I was always saying with a LOUD Voice, Jack Pletka . . . COME HERE!

One day when we were out shopping, a lady knelt down and asked him his name, and with a resounding confidence he said:  “My name is Jack Pletka Come Here! ” I about died with laughter.  He thought that was his name.

While that’s a cute story, often times we think we may have the answer to something we feel strongly about.  An idea that needs no counsel, because it seems like a no brainer.  But you may be wrong.  Just like Jack, confidently telling the lady his name was “Come Here”  often times we may have a plan in our head – that seems to fit like a circle in a round hole;  just because it fits, doesn’t mean it’s the correct answer for you.

Step back, talk it out, pray it out!  Talk to friends who may have well thought-out advice on the subject.  Your kids may be dating a GOOD guy, but maybe not the RIGHT guy.  You may be placing your life savings into a GOOD idea, but not a GOD idea. This will make a huge impact on the story board of your life.  Pause, seek good counsel and like Phil. 4:6-7 says:   Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and minds.

When I was 14, my parent’s started a business, in hopes of one day, providing a better future for the 4 of us. Times were tough and tight, but we stuck together; nothing was going to bring us down. With all the trucks, inventory, employees and building expenses, we went from eating bologna sandwiches to fried potatoes.  Which, to this day I am still fond of.

Life, by all accounts had little margin, money was tight and time was even tighter.  As the years went by, the business grew, but so did the bills.  It typically takes 5 years to get a business off the grown and soaring; In 3 years, we were hovering.  When it was time for me to go college, I know my dad was sweating.  There was no money for school.  We thought of all the ways we could make the money.  We thought of every thing known to man, seriously.  But each idea fell short . . . it felt hopeless.

That’s when my mom began to pray.  She prayed Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isaiah 55:9  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts greater than yours.  I’m glad HIS ways and ideas are greater.  God has to really be on his game . . .  if he’s gonna think of something greater than my ideas, because my imagination is pretty “up there.”

So guess what happened?  You’re not gonna believe this.  5 years earlier, the Judge in our town, a friend of my dad’s, had asked him to handle the finances of a Vietnam Veteran who had medical problems and needed help paying his bills.  My dad went above those obligations and began taking him to buy groceries, helping him shop for clothes, took him to doctors appointments and just helped the guy out, as life became more of a struggle.

Three months before college enrollment, the Judge called my dad into his chambers and said:  “We have a problem.”  The estate had not paid my dad for the last 5 years, for taking the Veteran from here to there and there to here.  Dad had no idea he was suppose to be paid for mileage, which added up to over $18,000 dollars.  Bam, my first year of college was paid in full. See, you can think of all the different ideas and ways of how something is gonna play out, but if you just pray about everything, presenting your requests to God, you’ll find peace that passes all understanding; his ways will be greater than yours, and he may send you someone named:  Jack Pletka Come Here -  to tell you that everything is gonna be alright!

Here’s to giving God the chance to write the Story Board of Your Life!

Technology is fabulous, until it replaces the “Personal Side of Life.”

Webster’s dictionary defines “Fellowship” as:  a mutual sharing of an experience, activity or interest, companionship, a brotherhood / sisterhood.

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I’m not talking about chit chat . . .  “How have you been, how are the kids?  blah blah blah? I mean good old fashion deep conversations, pee in your pants laughter . . . accountability, parents sharing with other parents, grandparents spending quality time with their grand kids. We all need human contact, eye ball to eye ball . . . to have those (I know what you mean, kind of conversations) where the longer you talk, the more you can relate, bond and get that A HA Moment.  We all need that sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves.

The other day my friend Shelly wrote me a handwritten letter, something I honestly had not received in years.  I’m used to seeing bills and junk mail, not a hand written letter penned personally to me.  She put stickers on it, recalling funny moments and conversations we’ve had.  It meant a lot. I sat on the couch reading and laughing as my kids kept asking . . . why are you laughing mom?  Who is it?  What is it?

I was on hold with our local bank,  a while back and couldn’t get to a real person to save my life.  Press 1 for this . .  press 2 for that . . press 15 for customer service . . . but 15 wouldn’t work, so I pressed 0 and it would only repeat the recording.  So I waited . . . and waited.  27 minutes into the annoying office music, I had to pee so bad I couldn’t wait.  So I ran to the bathroom, and as I flushed, the recording said:  I’m sorry – I do not understand this message.  Goodbye!

Let me tell you, I saw STARS.  Lord knows, at that point, if a human had answered, I would have burned their ears off.  All this would have been resolved if a real person had answered the phone in the first place.  We will always have the need for human contact, a real voice on the other line, telling us it’s gonna be ok, a pat on the back that we’re doing a good job, a hug, a smile, validation that all is well. My sister and I do this for each other all the time.  I need her, she needs me and after a good conversation, the one who was “off track” is back on board again, whistling a toon.

With Facebook, twitter, email and all the technology we have today, I see less of my friends.  And I take total responsibility.  Before Facebook, I had an Annual Fall Party to catch up and see everyone.  I have a core group of friends that met monthly for GRITS Night (Girl’s Raised in the South) that lasted hours.  Now that I sort of know what is going on in their lives, I somehow felt released from making the effort to get together.  And it has made me miss the girls in my life, the closeness, the laughter, the sharing, the . . .  ”everybody talks at once and we still heard what everyone said” kind of fellowship.

My father-in-law (Grandpa Jeff) is a happy guy.  He’s loyal, friendly and laughs a lot.  Now this didn’t come by happenstance.  He’s surrounded himself with good friends that meet weekly.  He has hunting buddies, fishing buddies and because of this, for him – life is happier and fuller.

When we don’t connect, we feel as if we’re alone.  You’re not the only one with a teething baby who cries all day, but you may feel like it.  You’re not the only one with a rebellious teenager going thru a crazy streak, a business situation that looks bleak, a sibling who never reaches out or a child with a medical diagnosis that looks grim.  You’re not the only one dealing with job changes, divorce, piling bills, spouses going back to school or “Doing Life” on your own.  But without fellowship, we isolate ourselves, and often times we feel as though we’re the only one.

Ecclesiastes 1:9 says There is nothing new under the sun.  What has been, will be again, what has been done will be done again.

So pick up the phone, write a letter, email your core group of friends and plan a “girl’s / guy’s Night Out.  Join a tennis team, a book club, a bible study, go fishing or golfing with a buddy.  And to technology that keeps us away from “Doing Life with others” just say: Sorry, I don’t understand this message:  Goodbye! Here’s to great relationships, life and laughter.

Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart is good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.

Has your life’s Exclamation Point . . . become an Exasperation Point?  The highlights of life can be sabotaged by discontentment, discouragement and frustration.  Sometimes we have to re-arrange the way we do things, in order to boost the energy we need to catapult us to greatness.

When I worked in PR, everyday was crazy, exciting, unpredictable and full of “pats” on the back or “kicks” in the butt; one way or the other, you knew where you stood.  Raising children is a little different.  Often times, nothing too exciting happens during the day – from teaching them Math and having late night talks, to throwing in some “moral character” with a splash of discipline and fun activities.  I’ve worn the heels, gone from suits to sweats and am now somewhere in the middle.

On any given day, I find myself researching a new business venture, catching up on 6 loads of laundry, emailing friends to plan girl’s night out, having a conference call with other moms to discuss a class party, while thinking about how I’m gonna cook chicken for the 3rd time this week, when it occurred to me:  Is this my life?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, the deep kind of happy that a few bad days or set of circumstances can’t steal.

But my life needed a tune up, like a musical instrument or attitude adjustment.  I love my husband; he’s very supportive, loving and fun to be around, and as a bonus, he’s good looking.  I have a small core of really good friends.  I have 4 kids that are loud, fun and interesting.  My life is full, but I knew with the tools and resources I had, things could be better.  I laid on the bed one day and just explained to John how I felt.

WITHOUT fear or threat that perhaps he had not provided a good life for us, he did a little research (another great quality of his – thoughtfulness) and by morning handed me a book, that has taken me on quiet an interesting journey, to fine-tune my happiness from mediocre to deep contentment, where people want to know why you’re smiling.   My quest began with:  The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin.

I’ve heard it said:  When a student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear.  Happiness is a state of mind.  Per Webster’s dictionary, happiness is a state of well being, a feeling of contentment, joy, satisfaction or pleasure.

I felt this, but not to its full capacity.  My mom is always reminding me that my calling here on this earth (no matter what position I hold in or outside the home) is to invest in the hearts of my children.  It’s not about recognition, fighting for a position on the corporate ladder, the need to feel appreciated by the outside world or add another gold star to my collection, but it’s about devoting your time and energy into raising healthy, Godly, well adjusted children that will go into the world with confidence, knowledge, and a sense of community.

But in order to do this, Mama needs to be happy!  And if Mama ain’t happy, well . . . you get the gist.  The first category in the Happiness Project is:  To Boost Your Energy.  To be honest, I’ve never been so tired in my entire life.  Before kids, I trained for a marathon, raced in triathlons and had endless energy.  Now, it’s a different story.

“The Happiness Project” lists 4 things that are needed to “Boost Your Energy:

1) Go to Sleep Earlier

2) Exercise Better

3) Toss, Restore and Organize

4) Tackle a Nagging Task Early

I don’t know about you, but all my life, I’ve gone to bed late, put exercise on my “To Do” List (and rarely crossed it off).  I allow that pesky task to haunt me all day (hoping it will just go away – of course it gets bigger and steals my joy).

It’s like a perfect storm – just as the kids are saying “Mom I’m Hungry (after they just ate) you open the closet – and out springs jackets, scarves and a skate board into the floor, about the time the door bell rings and unexpected company has arrived.  Yikes.  You feel conquered, overwhelmed and under pressure.  Then comes the guilt . . . I’m a terrible mom, how will my kids turn out . . . whaaa whaaaa whaaaa!

1st Month’s Challenge

Challenge 1) Sleep Earlier:

I began going to bed earlier.  Can you say:  Hard.  I starred at the ceiling and noticed all the blinking lights in the room, from the phone to the clock to my lap top, it was like the “Vegas Strip.”  Some people count sheep:  I was counting loads of laundry.  Your body has to be reprogrammed.  But with my next challenge, sleep came earlier and sleep came easier.

Challenge 2) Exercise Better:

I’ve never liked waking up early.  My dad always said “the Sunrise is so Beautiful.” I figure the Sunset looks much like the Sunrise, so I’m ok with that.  But, in order to exercise better, I began taking the kids to school, so I could just keep going – head downstairs and begin working out.  The first week, I didn’t like it.  I felt angry, tired.  The “Work Out” guy’s voice on the DVD annoyed me. But then I created my favorite playlist on my ipod, for better motivation.  Now that I’ve created this routine, I enjoy the time for me.  Plus, when 6:30am rolls around, my eyes just pop open.  Your body gets use to what it knows, getting up and working out.

Challenge 3) Toss, Restore and Organize:

My bedroom closet had become  “Central Station” for things that didn’t have a name, a home or description.  Honestly, I found things I should have taken a picture of and tried to figure out its name on Google.

I had a hard time letting go of comfortable underwear – the kind your mom says you NEVER want to be wearing if you end up in the Emergency Room.  It was hard giving away those red shoes you’ve never worn, but are waiting to find that fantastic dress to match it.

I found parts to toys I didn’t know we had, books I’ve never read,  snack wrappers, gifts that had never been given. . . . and the list goes on.  It took 3 days to cleanse my closet, but in the process , it cleansed my mind.  I found 10 incredible outfits to choose from vs. dredging through piles and baskets of wrinkled things, to discover one sock, jeans I couldn’t wear or a bad concert t-shirt.  Difficulties like this, make your head hurt, especially when you’re in a hurry and need to be somewhere 10 minutes ago.

Challenge 4) Tackle a Nagging Task Early:

Between emails I needed to write, bills that needed to be paid, a conversation that needed to be had or a mess that needed to be cleaned, it haunted my thoughts all day.  It drove me crazy.  Now, I wake up, conquer the the task and feel good about the VICTORY, early on.

Motherhood is NOT easy.  Have you ever spun so many plates or juggled so many schedules?

Probably not, but it’s also Fulfilling and Fun.  Your cup is not full, it’s Overflowing. And if someone came in right now and said:  “I’ll take your place if you’re not happy”  We would karate chop them into a million pieces.  It’s ok to complain, but it’s most important to jump back on the saddle.  Lord willing, this position is for many years to come, thus we need to find that Deep Happiness and Contentment, so when we’re teaching our kids “Life’s Lessons” we’ll find ourselves – Whistling While We Work.

Wanna Boost Your Energy?  Start with you!  You are the family’s “Hub of Communication” the CEO of your household.  Take charge . . . GIRLS!  In cleaning those closets and exercising for you, you’ll feel Accomplished, Organized and Victorious.  Rid your life of Exasperation Points and Make them Exclamation Points to your Happiness! You are More than Conquerors.

Scripture:  Phil 4: 11-13

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

People ask each other all the time:  What do you do for a living?  They see the car you drive, the house you live in, the clothes you wear, the schools your children attend, the teams they play, the size of your TV screen and the list goes on.

I had an SUV for years and loved it, until I had my 4th child; and while an SUV can hold all 6 of us, there was no room for the groceries, strollers and all the other stuff that looks like you’re moving, every time you leave the house.  So when you take out the 3rd seat, all you can carry is your kids, purse and bottle; and that’s just not gonna cut it.

So we had to buy a minivan. I cried the week before we bought it, because for some reason I had attached the fact that I would be driving a Mini Van to the fact that I was loosing any cool factor I had left in me.  (sorry for offending others who love their many van – But this is how I felt).  First, went the little black dress and heels, then the purse turned into a diaper bag, slash luggage, my hair went from stylish to a pony tale and my car went from hip to less hip, and then I gained hip . . . . . but in the wrong place.  : (

My mom said to basically “get over it,” she explained that these are just tools needed to get you from point A to point B for this phase in your life. Well I hadn’t thought of it that way.  I thought I was loosing my identity, but if my identity was wrapped up in material things that can be here today and gone tomorrow, something needed to be adjusted.

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Who you are is made up of many factors: good character, great reputation and family name, are you charitable, do you help those in need, are you a good friend, are you trustworthy and honorable?

You watch commercials that show a husband and wife in the Caribbean, rolling around in a bed that’s sitting in the middle of the beach, while gazing into each other’s eyes and you think, “I should be there, not at Jungle Joe’s bouncing on a trampoline”.  Don’t let the marketers fool ya.  Nobody likes sand that much!

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The grass is not greener and everyone has, what seems like slow moments, lulls in life, but not forever.   Life is Not passing you by.  You are the real deal.  You are Living Life.  Everyday Vacations, All the Ice Cream You Can Eat, driving a Roadster and Trump Tower living is NOT REAL LIFE.  Now if you get to enjoy those things, then great.  It’s a bonus, but not everyday reality.

Suddenly my attitude changed:  These are phases in life and they last for only a moment, so who cares about whether you have a mini van, a smaller house than you want or a piece of luggage full of bottles, bibs and burp rags.  The little black dress will eventually return, the diaper bag will become a cute purse once again and things begin to fall back into place as life progresses.  Change is constant, so be flexible.

Who cares that the leather furniture has scratch marks or the carpet is 10 years old.  Just embrace the happiness around you, the joy of your kids telling funny jokes, your husband coming home from work, happy that you are happy; know that there is always a time and place for newer, faster stuff . . . . grander vacations and more free time, but while your in this phase of life, embrace it, wherever you are.  Jump your cool-self into that minivan and embrace the Adventure!

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P.S. Now that I have a mini van, I love it. Convenience is key!  I still love wearing a pony tail, my diaper bags are more fashionable and I occasionally pull out the little black dress and enjoy a night on the town, just not in a bed on the beach.  : )

The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.  1 John 2:17

Dr. Suess wrote: Oh the Places You Go . . One of those stops, is the Waiting Place!

Waiting is typically associated with boredom, nothing to do, sort of a wasted space in time.  It can be lonely.  Waiting is definitely not the “Life of the Party.”  No one is jumping up and down, saying, Me Me, can I Wait? It just doesn’t happen.

Don’t you hate to wait?   Waiting for a date to come,

the leaves to turn, the wind to blow, your brain to learn, waiting for a cup of joe, waiting for the grass to grow.

The dictionary defines Waiting as:  to remain stationary, in readiness or expectation, to rest in patience.  I went away on a girl’s 3 day weekend, no ipod, no gadet distractions, but part of the trip was to go out into nature, clear your mind, think, pray and just Be.  It was quiet hard to do NOTHING.  Us women are multitaskers; it’s in our blood to keep the balls juggling’ and the plates spinning’.

After 10 minutes, my mind was empty, except for a long list of to do’s:  buy groceries, fix the car, take Molly to soccer practice, write a story, pay the bills and, well, you get the gist.  I had nothing in my brain to think about, but logistics.  But as I sat there, the clutter and busy-ness began to fade, my brain began to clear and like the sun peeking through the clouds, I began to see things differently. . .

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalms 46:10

We hurry through life and forget to WAIT . .  be still, listen to the birds, smell the roses, get in the floor with the kids, erase the schedule and just be.  You’ll be amazed out how your priorities, your outlook on life will change.

Suddenly, the birds you never heard before, get louder.  The smell of roses get stronger and your life perspective begins to line up.  Those high priorities of work, women’s meetings, charity events and all-day house cleaning marathons don’t have the same importance as they did before.

Like death, taxes and the poor . . . laundry and dirty dishes will be with you ALWAYS.  Our children won’t be young forever, they won’t always be willing to hang with us.  Jump on the tire swing, listen to what they have to say, take a nice walk and wait in readiness and expectation for what is to come.

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Embrace the quietness, for in it, your thoughts, dreams and goals will begin to re-arrange themselves and all the important things will rise to the top and those that aren’t, well . . . they’ll begin to fade.  Take the time to wait, for in doing so . . . Oh, the places you will go!

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The dictionary defines Fearless as: Brave, courageous, unflinching, free, bold, adventurous, triumphant! The opposite of Fearless is Fear, which brings worry, doubt, anxiety and apprehension.

When I was 8 years old, I spent the night at my grandma’s farm house.  She lived in the middle of a 100 acre hay field, with creaky doors and tall 10 foot windows that started at the floor and went to the ceiling.  The light switch was a dangling light bulb that hung over the bed, you know the kind you have to stand up in the center of the mattress and search for in mid-air and then pull a string.  During lightening storms, the house shook, lighting up the entire room and darkness was Pitch Black!

One night, during a storm, I was notified it was bed time.  I tried to walk bravely to bed, but lightening struck and so did my FEAR, right into my throat.  I leaped from the door to the bed in about 2 jumps.  As I laid there, I noticed across the room, what appeared to be a large monster standing over my bed.  I starred it down, and without moving, it just kept looking at me.  It didn’t move; I didn’t move.  I flew under the covers to hide and remained there for about 30 minutes, sweating and wondering if this THING standing over my bed had left.  I peeked over the blanket and to my dismay, it was STILL there.  I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t move.  I was being held prisoner in a dark room by something looking at me!

Finally, when I couldn’t take the FEAR (or the hot blanket any longer) courage rose and I jumped straight into the air, grabbing for the dangling light bulb overhead, ready to fight this thing for my life.  The bulb swung this way and that, before I finally wrestled it down and pulled the string.  To my amazement, someone had hung a trench coat and hat on my bed post! I was being held captive by a trench coat. I was terrified . . . sweating, hyperventilating, and ALL for NOTHING!

We imagine the worst in life:  turn on the news and the economy is taking a nose dive, TERRORism is in our backyard and jobs are being lost at a phenomenal rate.  Will our kids go to college, how will we pay the bills, should I take another job, downsize my home?  We form ideas and imaginations in our head, self fulfilling prophecies that life is not gonna be what we thought it would.  Maybe it’s not.

We cling to Fear like a nice warm coat and those invisible walls hold us, our thoughts and the opportunity our lives hold, Captive!  What if we lived life FREE from FEAR?  Jump out of bed and dive for that light switch, expose it, the lie for which it is and grab FEARLESS by the horns.

How awesome it would be, living life outside the box. Think how different your life could be, if instead of being scared and all tangled up inside (living life in the same old rut), you just started your own business, took another job, downsized your home (this could be an adventure), wrote down that bucket list and began conquering it, took a missions trip and discovered how you can help change the world!  Walk away from the lies of what man says you can and can’t do.

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Grab on to what God says:  All Things Are Possible to Him Who Believes.  Mark 9:23  Jump Fearlessly into the unknown, with no inhibitions!  Be FEARLESS! Life is what you make it.

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Scripture to Ponder:

Let us not become weary in well doing, for in due season (at the proper time), you will reap a harvest of blessings; just don’t give up.  Galatians 6:9

I can do ALL Things Through Christ, who gives me strength.  Phil 4:13

Suggested Reading:  Max Lucado’s Book – FEARLESS

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School is out!  Sounds exciting right.  Vacation, endless fun, afternoon naps, sleeping in, no pressing commitments . . . end of Story!

But that wouldn’t be REAL Life, would it?  The honest answer is probably a mixture of fun, fighting, boredom, re-learning some “thankful” lessons, messy house, making a million snacks and enjoying the slower moments of life.

Often times I envision something a little more “Norman Rockwell” during the holidays.  Those paintings always captured the essence of the holidays:  Everyone is happy, very little complaining, the meal turns out great, the house is beautiful and clean, except for us, it’s more of a Chevy Chase “Christmas Vacation.”  Traditional food, kids flying down the stairwell in a box or bean bag, and the UPS guy blows his horn as he passes our house, watching one of the kids fall out of a tree.  Our neighbors must REALLY Love Us!!

My dad told me once that I have the “Little House on the Prairie” idealistic mentality, where I think everything should fall into place with little effort, everyone sits down for dinner together on time and so on.  When he brought this to my attention, I felt hurt, as if he had burst my “Bubble of Hope” that one day this could happen.  In retrospect, he was saving me from a life of heartache and let downs. Now that I know this about myself, I’ve made some mental changes.  Changes that prepare me for those sand traps in life I make for myself when I hold things to idealistic measures – built-up beliefs I’ve made in my head regarding “Mary Poppins” on Christmas Day.

Life is What it Is!  Its sort of like a house:  It’s sometimes messy and disorganized, often delightful and happy, has its occasional technical mishaps, but for the most part, we wouldn’t change it for the world.

On Christmas day, I envisioned the kids running around, playing quietly with toys, eating the cookies we made, watching movies on the couch . . .

Instead, they were skate boarding through the kitchen, while one was TRYING to play a violin, the other a piano (on disco rhythm) and the baby was being licked in the mouth by the dog.  Not what I envisioned, but that’s ok, We’re all together, happy, healthy and loving one another.  I’m Thankful.

So, now that school is out, relax, be flexible, it’s ok to let the house go for a day or two,  enjoy a little HGTV, maybe some “Mary Poppins” and let Life be What it is!  Be Thankful.

Moms work harder than anyone I know. Whether you work in or outside the home, it’s become a 24 hour job. Dishes, Laundry, School Projects, Manager Meetings, Sports Activities, Cooking . . . I can feed my 3 boys and 1 hour later, they’re starving! And those 2am wake up calls – when your child is just NOT tired and they want to share this with you or you wake up to them hovering over your face. That’s always fun!

For some reason, when the kids wake up in the middle of the night, they always come to my side of the bed to tell me they need to “go to the bathroom.” Hello! It’s rare, but even the dog knows that if he has an emergency in the middle of the night, he comes to me, dancing like a jackal, because (though he eats only dry dog food) someone who will remain nameless (my mom) felt sorry for Max and fed him a block of cheese. I’ve never seen a dog hip hop and go crazier at 2am! eh hum! Mimi is sleeping peacefully in bed, while the dog is dancing around me, hollering in a high pitched voice, as if every second counts!

So, plan something fun for you! This is a “Guilt Free” Zone; guilt is NOT Allowed. Write down the top 5 activities on your dream list: Big or small, expensive to least expensive, for a week, a day or a few hours – find time for you.

Everything has a reset button: For example, you wash the car and a week later, it needs to be cleaned out again, the pantry needs to be re-organized and the laundry has to be cleaned, and the garage – well that’s another story. As the world turns, these are the days of our lives: we need to find time for ourselves, in order to keep the “better you” at the top of the list for everyone else’s sake.

When you board a plane, the stewardess comes on the loud speaker and announces that “in case of an emergency” place the air mask on your face first, so you can assist your children. If Mama goes down, everybody’s going down. If you don’t take care of you, then who will take care your kids, your spouse, your community? If you take care of yourself first, then you are just a better version of YOU! What should we expect: Peace, contentment, happiness, patience, a better perspective.

When we live in constant chaos and busy-ness, we’re feeding something that’s gonna grow into a “Venus Fly Trap. It’s gonna eventually snap up its prey. Well, that can’t be good! But if we invest in ourselves, perhaps a weekend retreat, a one hour massage, a long drive in the car with a coffee and our favorite music, a trip to the beach, a night out with the girls, a date night with your significant other, then everyone will benefit.

If you’re really desperate, you may be thinking, a grocery store run, alone is HEAVEN. Ok, that’s pretty bad, but sometimes its the baby steps that get us walking in the right direction.

Heck, your family is probably thinking “Go, please!” Give your “Mom Membership” card a rest, go put on something that makes you feel sexy and confident; find that cute girl inside and be selfish, for the sake of those around you. Get out there and do something Fun, For YOU!!

Here’s to Adventure . . . . . and Cute Heels!

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Have you ever flown across country with your whole family, to meet someone you didn’t know?  We did, this Thanksgiving.  And this is how it all went down:

In the early 70’s, my husband was adopted by a wonderful mom and dad who couldn’t have kids of their own.  Adopted by people who gave him a great life, full of encouragement, confidence and the tools needed to be the great man that he is today.

At 36 years old, and 4 kids of his own, he began thinking about what it would be like to meet someone in this world that looked like him. Probably more curious than anything, he began a quest that would connect him with people from all over the country:  from private investigators, and Catholic Charities, to loving nuns who took a personal interest in his story.  Those nuns loved my husband so much, they called him after hours, sent emails and letters to make sure he found his birth mom.

This search, like a crossword puzzle across America, sent us to St. Paul, MN, a place neither of us had ever been.  I’m from the South, he’s from the West and with one phone call from our sources, we knew her name, address and that he had 4 sisters.  Wow!

My heart pounded for him.  I was nervous to finally have the answers. But in cool fashion, my husband took it all in stride, was neither too excited or worried, just had a subtle smile on his face.

What would they be like?  Had they wondered about him over the years?  What were the circumstances behind his adoption?  The questions were endless.  Did they know they had 4 grandchildren?

Once we discovered her name, we found more than we expected on Facebook.  It was amazing.  We discovered they had a huge family, much bigger than mine or his, which he now brags about.  One sister is a missionary in Africa, the others, quiet independent and successful in their own right.  We even found his Grandma on Facebook.  They come from a line of Farmers, with 1000’s of acres, growing Soy and Sugar Beets, making sugar for all the fun sweets we love to eat.

It was all I could do to not Facebook them and add them as a friend, but my husband had not contacted anyone, so he made me swear not to do anything crazy, just yet.

After sitting on this information for 3 months, we prayed, my husband wrote an incredible letter and with a big gulp, placed a stamp on it and dropped it in the mail.  That’s it, no turning back.  The letter started out . . . My name is John and I was born May 1973.  Whoever opened this letter would for sure, take a pause, reliving that moment, as if it were yesterday.  Waiting for a reply was grueling.  Two days seemed like two weeks, and the letter had not even arrived.  Would they be receptive of the letter?  Did the husband know?  Did the kids know?  Would this turn their world upside down?  Would it turn our lives upside down?  The questions were much longer than the answers.

Within a day of the letter arriving, the sister who was the missionary in Africa emailed to say they had known for several years and always wanted a brother.  Wow.  All guards down, they were receptive of his letter.  A couple of days later, his birth mom wrote and said “I always hoped you would find me.”  Her husband and kid’s had known.  She has 7 brothers and sisters, there are 25 cousins, many are successful farmers in North Dakota and invited us to come up for Thanksgiving to meet everyone.

Oh, Good Lord!  This was exciting news.  Really the best you could hope for.  It’s amazing how God’s timing is greater than ours.  He worked everything out for HIS glory.  Because it was Thanksgiving, many of the family members were able to attend.  One of the sisters agreed to fly in from Arizona.   We booked our flights and chatted via email for weeks, getting to know each other.  It’s funny because my husband is a quiet man, fairly reserved.  The family members had so many questions, he found himself emailing one, while face booking another and chatting with still another, all at the same time.  While he was answering questions on email, the one chatting would say:  Are you still there?  It was hilarious.  He’s never had so much attention in his life.  It was fun to see.

The mom’s husband sent an interesting email, a tale that seemed too far fetched to be real, like a story you would only see on the LifeTime network.  He began to tell us that years after living in another city, they moved back to their hometown to have their 1st child together.  They signed up for a lamaze class and turns out, across the room from the them was the birth father and his new wife who had also just moved back to their hometown. They were all 4 in lamaze class on that random Winter evening.  Uncomfortable in this awkward situation, they headed for the door. And to make matters even more unbelievable, he said the day mom went into labor, the other couple was in the hospital room next door, having their first born, on the same day!!  That’s amazing.  He said, “The entire experience made us think of you.”

Flight Day:

It was time to pack our bags, board the plane and fly to Minnesota, home of the Twins, Mall of America and cold weather in general.

4 kids, 2 adults, 8 pieces of luggage and a partridge and a pair tree.  My 6 year old announced to everyone on the plane that he was going to meet his grandma for the first time.  We had gasps from people sitting near us who thought our kids were a little old to be meeting their grandparents for the FIRST time; but after a little explanation, we were getting congratulatory offers from the crew and other travelers.

Upon arrival, it was like going to meet neighbors, people we didn’t know, but had a fondness for, until 6:30pm arrived and we were heading over to their house.  My hands were sweating.  I began video taping my husband, who thought I was going to upload it to Youtube or something; he didn’t seem to like the added pressure.  I totally understood.  Instead, I took that nervous energy and choose to remind the kids of their manners. Ok, remind . . . slash threaten them.  As we pulled up to their house, the neighbors must have known the story too, because they were standing as spectators on the street, waiting to see the reaction. Her husband, quiet the comedian, helped us all out of the car.

As we walked into the house, the mom and sisters were standing at the door waiting to give everyone a hug.  His mom’s first reaction was: “Wow, you’re tall.”  He is:  At 6. 5″ he’s very tall.  I tried to imagine what it was like to meet one’s mom for the first time or mom meeting a grown son like that.

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She was very kind, accommodating and just an interesting person to be around.  It was like we had all known each other forever.  The questions he had regarding the adoption, suddenly didn’t seem to matter so much.  Everyone goes through tough times and while the reasons are private, they were validating and it was all water under the bridge.

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Thanksgiving day was full of great conversations, board games, football, eating, drinking and laughing.   There were accents of all kinds, melded together that day, from Southern and Mid-Western to the International students they housed from China, Africa and other parts of the world.

The mom said a few years ago she lost her wedding her ring and her husband replaced it with a 5 diamond “mother’s ring.” She said she thought:  Ok, this represents my husband and 4 girls, until her son came into the picture; “now it represents my 5 children.”

The trip was a success.  Everyone was so welcoming.  We were even invited back.  Mom discovered she had 4 grandchildren, her only grandchildren.  She probably wasn’t prepared for that one.    She went from a mom of 4 to grandma of 4.  The kids enjoyed their new aunts and cousins, especially the older sister who chased them, took them to the park and the Holiday parade in 29 degree weather.  The kids threw around the football with an aunt and played foosball with cousins.  It was a treat for everyone.  The grandma, was spunky and fun, full of life and sharp as a tack.  She reached way up, touched my husband’s face, (her first grandchild’s face) as if she was figuring out who he looked like.  I’ve never seen such acceptance and heartfelt love.  We flew into their lives as strangers, but we left as family.

Thanks to all our Family members (old and new), you’ve invested in our hearts and enhanced our lives forever.  And for those who may be adopted, we pray that your experience is equally as great.  Celebrate Family – Wherever and however it comes!

Run the Race Set Before You

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Do you ever wake up and just feel out of whack?  Webster’s dictionary defines “out of whack” as,  well – it wasn’t in there, but the word “unbalanced” was:  and . . . well, you get the gist.We go to work, to school, do laundry, pay the bills, pay the piper and our list never quiet gets done.  It’s a cycle of sorts, and for the person who likes to see the list complete, done, never to return again, it’s a barrel of disappointment.

Life is a cycle. It ebbs and flows.  There’s highs and lows, kids with good and bad phases, jobs that “Rock” today and “Stink” tomorrow.  Football teams that win big and lose big and this . . . Well, this is Life!

But if we understand this process in life, we’ll understand that when we’re in the Valley, the pain and character we gain from this experience will allow the next train stop to be on the Mountain.  And when we’re on the Mountain, enjoy its beauty.  There is much to learn from all areas of life.  Life is a journey.  The end of the journey is just that, the end.  Usually the planning (all the stuff in the middle – much like a jelly filled donut) is the most exciting part.  Life is not a straight a line with easy answers, but more like a curve chart of “the answer could be this, but it may be that.”

Of course, no one said you have to enjoy the low points: the boss that’s a jerk, crazy employees, sick kids, unanswered prayers and lack of appreciation for those who make sure you have clean underwear, but know that it will get better.  It’s the cycle of life.

Hebrews 12:1 says:  Since we are surrounded by witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders or entangles, and run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

(Translation:  Start running and never quit)!