Did you know that love is work? If you didn’t, it’s safe to safe you haven’t been in love. Having clean dishes is work. Having a car that smells good – is work. Having kids that don’t fight is. . . well, that’s virtually impossible, but you get the gist. Life can easily go from a dust storm to a full fledged F5 tornado in a heart beat.
The divorce rate in America is slightly over 50%, meaning one in two couples will divorce.
There’s a cycle of life, and while I’m making it sound quiet simple, it’s anything but. For most, we go off to college, get a job, get married, have 2.3 kids, raise them, transition into empty nesters, enjoy the grandkids, travel, and the cycle continues. Sounds so simple. So clear cut. But of course, each phase of life is complex: full of fun, fights, heartache, tough conversations and celebrations. There’s personality conflicts, vet bills, hurt feelings, championships awarded, breast cancer survivors.
It’s all the stuff in the middle that makes staying in love a lot of work. Love isn’t just the kisses and electricity that pulls you together when you first meet. Love goes deeper. Love washes the dishes for the other person, when they can’t take another step. Love rubs their shoulders after a tired day at the office. All the outside activities: taking the kids to school, paying the bills, working a 50 hour week, helping kids with science projects is the product of love.
Often times we forget the core of the family, Central Station – You and Your spouse.
It’s time to re-focus the attention toward each other, shake off the dust, let the other activities fade into the back ground and plan a date night, a picnic at the park, a vacation away, just the two of you. Discuss your dreams and goals. Write a note, tell ’em what you like about them. Do all the fun stuff you did before kids, before all the accountability and responsibility that life tends to throw upon you like a monkey on your back.
Love takes work. It’s a fight to spend time together. You’re fighting against kid’s schedules, your lack of discipline to make it happen. Just like exercising and eating healthy, it’s a daily task. Red lipstick and heels once a month is not gonna get it. It’s arranging babysitters, asking your spouse to dinner, courting them, getting creative in showing your love and affection for one another.
Keep the “Crazy” at bay and find that spark. Do what it takes to keep it alive. So when life comes at you, full force, find each other in the eye of storm (the most peaceful place) and hold on. You’re worth it.