Dec 312012
 

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All my life I thought I would grow up and be a back up singer, an air plane pilot, write a book, my list was long.  I’d live an extraordinary life like no other.

Most of my life I’ve floated around never feeling like I quiet fit in.  It was totally self-inflicted. What is “IN” anyway? It began with school conferences, report cards:   She talks too much, too wiggly.  While I excelled in school, even joined the Beta Club and the Math Team, my 1st C was in conduct.  I always had so much to say.  If words weren’t coming out, it felt like a pressure cooker.

Growing up, I was taller than all the boys.  My arms were longer than my sleeves, my legs surpassed my cuff length; I had crazy hair.  “Awkward” was my middle name.

Then I grew up, got married, had a family and decided time was running out.  I needed to make a mark on life or I wouldn’t be remembered.  We back-packed Europe, had 4 kids, I’ve owned my own business.  Life has been good.

But with all the accomplishments of those “flying to the moon”, celebrity bloggers, authors, people attaining awards for the best this and the greatest that, I wondered if I had done enough to stand out from the crowd. Am I just average?  My whole life I was told I was special.  Mom, what happened? You said . . .

The world says if you’re not on TV, walking a runway or hosting a cooking class on the FOOD Network, you aren’t really “special.”  I’ve raced in triathlons, but that didn’t make the news. I’m a good Christian girl that sometimes says bad words. I’ve been over weight and lost the pounds, but there were no accolades.  I’m not the queen of google +, twitter, Tumbler or Linkedin.  Hell, I mean, heck, I don’t even cook that well.  The laundry is washed – only some of the time and while I’d like to say our family of 6 lives in organized chaos, it’s mostly chaos.

I began to feel as though I wasn’t the person I needed to be, the one who does GREAT things – is in the top 25% of world changers and dream makers.  I felt like I hadn’t made my mark on life.  I’m not the BEST Anything!  What do I want to be when I grow up?

As the “Hands of Time” push me out of my 30’s, I’m realizing that my opinion, my ideas, my worth, my dreams and goals aren’t based on awards.  After all, if I’m the “leading lady” of my own life, the captain of my ship, I need to act like it.  I’ve spent too many years behind the curtain of life, adjusting my journey to those around me, as if I’m driving around Big Orange Construction cones, re-routing my life path for the benefit of others; as if I’ve placed someone else’s “directions’ into my map quest, always re-calculating, to someone else’s journey.

After feeling inadequate, comparing myself to airbrushed models at the grocery store check-out, seeing people save the world, land a talk show, write a book or gain notoriety for doing nothing, I decided to change my perspective. Sometimes life doesn’t change, but your perspective can.  I have a great life.  It’s just not televised. I’ve accomplished a few of those items on the list, but discovering who I am, loving ME unconditionally is the greatest gift I can offer myself.  If I don’t accept me, who will?

I’m complicated and simple, loud and well, loud.  I laugh till I cry and cry till I laugh. I’m  laid back and up-tight; most things don’t bother me and some things do a lot.

I often talk to myself, working out details, conflicts – on a good, long run.  My opinion matters, and quiet frankly, I’ve learned to listen to me.  I’m smart, funny, full of common sense and wisdom.  I mean, I’ve had enough experiences in my 40 years to collect enough data to feel good about listening to what I think.

On Oprah’s Life Class, I heard Joel Osteen say:  You will never rise any higher than the way you see yourself.

The fact that “like a snow flake” there is no other person on this planet like you, should be enough. We’re unique, custom individuals, whether or not we flew to the moon or we’re perfectly ORDINARY!

That’s it.  You don’t have to be the Best hair dresser, Truck Driver, famous author, “employee of the month” celebrity blogger, have a cooking show, play Double AA tennis, have a golf handicap of 3 or write for the Huffingtonpost.com. You make your mark in this world by dancing freely through life, enjoying the moments.  Your life-worth isn’t based on a book, a show, an award that makes you stand out above the crowd.

You make your mark by loving your family, being a good friend, raising your kids to be amazing individuals, full of character and personality.  You make your mark sitting on the floor playing and laughing with your kids, giving them an incredible since of confidence and love.  You make your mark when you quietly bless others with a note, a conversation, a prayer, a meal.  You make your mark when you show your kids that life is what you make it

Don’t be a martyr, rather teach those around you that life is to be celebrated; live life to the fullest, but on your terms. Life is what you make it! You don’t have to make History, to make your mark, just be the History.

Here’s to Living a Fabulously Ordinary Life – Being the Best Version of You!

Ps. 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful: I know that fully.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Posted by at 5:06 pm

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