Sep 092009

My 7 year old was listing all the friends he had.  He was telling me about the kid in his class from Vietnam, or about Freddie who went to London with his parents and the list went on.

When he left, my 3 year old asked:  Mom, do I have fwends?  I said yes and listed the names of little kids in our neighborhood.  He said:  “Oh good!”  He trusted that I knew he was ok.  It was so sweet how he looked to me to determine if he was valued, loved and established.  Of course he was.  It’s funny to hear the ideas, concerns and perspectives little children have.

It’s our job to remove those little insecurities and reinforce a sense of belonging and being apart of Community.

What is your son or daughter concerned about?  Talk about it on a one on one, fun bike ride or walk in the park.  Keep Communication flowing and frequent.  With chaos in the day, opportunities do not always present themselves.  You have to invest the time and when you do, those concerns will rise to the top and can be easily dealt with.

Concerns don’t always come in the form of a “knock on your door.” Set the stage for good communication.  It might be a warm cookie and a hug when they come home from school, stacking legos on the floor or just a quiet walk down the street.  Some kids wear their heart on their sleeve and can open up in 2 seconds to discuss a concern or problem; others are like slow cookers.  If you spend enough time and build their trust, they’ll mention their concerns around bedtime in the quiet of the evening.

Each child is different.  Keep your eyes and ears open.  The world is full of people ready to tear down your child’s self esteem.   School, “so called friends” and the world in general, can be a harsh place at times.  Building self esteem is not an overnight fix, it’s a journey.

I tell my kids: “You’re my blessing or You make my heart feel good” and now they tell me I make their heart feel good.  They need to know that mom, dad, and siblings have their back.  It’s All for One and One for All!

Tell us how you handle building self esteem.  We’d love to hear your story.

 Posted by at 1:17 am

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