One day after hearing my girlfriends talk about shaking things up a bit in the bedroom, I thought I’d go get a Brazilian Bikini Wax. Not thinking very clearly, I decided to make an appointment with the full service spa next door to my video production company.
What I should have done was made an appointment with a spa in the next county and walked in mysteriously under an assumed name with a bag over my head and just went for it. But oh no, I had to go next door to my office, where everyone knew me. I walked in, not really knowing what to expect It’s kind of like having a baby. You go in smiling, you come out bargaining with God, promising anything if he’ll just make the pain go away.
I walked in, they put me on this waxing table and asked me to put a thong on. Hmmm. Red Flag. . . Next thing I knew she’s poured honey on everything and when she goes to Snatch, I shot off the table crying “Mother of God!”
She tried to distract me by asking questions, like – how much does it cost to have old reels transferred to DVD? Yank!!!!!! and as I was giving the answer she snatched again. She snatched twice before I could take a breath. “Oh Lord Jesus, I can’t take this anymore.” You can fool me once, but not twice. I told her I didn’t care what it looked like down there, if the honey stayed or went, I was outta there.
I grabbed my clothes and left. I’m sure they had a big laugh that day, as I headed next door to my office. At the end of the day, I made sure I parked in the back just to avoid passing the front of their store. There’s got to be a better way to shake things up in the bedroom, because I can assure you, no husband will ever appreciate the pain you go through, getting a Brazilian Bikini Wax.
When I told my husband what I had done, he fell off the bed laughing. You know, men are not complex. He said I didn’t need to go to all that trouble to Shake things Up. But was wondering if I brought home the thong. I said honey: I think a piece of it is still down there.