Did you know that love is work?  If you didn’t, it’s safe to safe you haven’t been in love.  Having clean dishes is work.  Having a car that smells good – is work.  Having kids that don’t fight is. . . well, that’s virtually impossible, but you get the gist.  Life can easily go from a dust storm to a full fledged F5 tornado in a heart beat.

The divorce rate in America is slightly over 50%, meaning one in two couples will divorce.

There’s a cycle of life, and while I’m making it sound quiet simple, it’s anything but.  For most, we go off to college, get a job, get married, have 2.3 kids, raise them, transition into empty nesters, enjoy the grandkids, travel, and the cycle continues. Sounds so simple. So clear cut.  But of course, each phase of life is complex: full of fun, fights, heartache, tough conversations and celebrations.  There’s personality conflicts, vet bills, hurt feelings, championships awarded, breast cancer survivors.

It’s all the stuff in the middle that makes staying in love a lot of work.  Love isn’t just the kisses and electricity that pulls you together when you first meet.  Love goes deeper.  Love washes the dishes for the other person, when they can’t take another step.  Love rubs their shoulders after a tired day at the office. All the outside activities:  taking the kids to school, paying the bills, working a 50 hour week, helping kids with science projects is the product of love.

Often times we forget the core of the family, Central Station – You and Your spouse.

It’s time to re-focus the attention toward each other, shake off the dust, let the other activities fade into the back ground and plan a date night, a picnic at the park, a vacation away, just the two of you. Discuss your dreams and goals.  Write a note, tell ‘em what you like about them.   Do all the fun stuff you did before kids, before all the accountability and responsibility that life tends to throw upon you like a monkey on your back.

Love takes work.  It’s a fight to spend time together.  You’re fighting against kid’s schedules, your lack of discipline to make it happen.  Just like exercising and eating healthy, it’s a daily task.  Red lipstick and heels once a month is not gonna get it.  It’s arranging babysitters, asking your spouse to dinner, courting them, getting creative in showing your love and affection for one another.

Keep the “Crazy” at bay and find that spark.  Do what it takes to keep it alive.  So when life comes at you, full force, find each other in the eye of storm (the most peaceful place) and hold on.  You’re worth it.

Everyone is Just Waiting,

Waiting for the Fish to Bite,

Waiting for the Wind to Fly a Kite

Waiting Around for Friday night.

Doesn’t waiting seem like a waste of time, a useless place?  Yet, in fact, there are lessons to be learned in the Waiting Place.  Waiting is defined as:  remaining stationary, in readiness or in expectation, to rest in patience.

I enjoyed a girl’s three-day weekend away from the hustle and bustle of life.  There were no techno gadgets, just nature, walking trails, lakes and Canadian Geese.  What a great time to clear my head, think and be.  I anticipated a quiet get-a-way of thinking and waiting in expectation for answers to questions.

But the transition from the “fast-paced-to the “slow-paced” was difficult.  Women are multi-taskers.  We shine best in a storm, when life is in turmoil, when chaos is at its peak, when lives are at stake.  Give us a day to think and wait, and it’s a little un-settling.  It’s in our blood to keep the balls juggling and the plates spinning.

After 10 minutes of waiting by the lake, hoping for a quick revelation to life’s ponderings, my mind filled itself with the infamous “To-Do” list:  buy groceries, fix the car, office deadlines, pay the bills.  My brain was full of logistics.  But as I sat there long enough, taking a deep breath, determined to do nothing but wait, something amazing began to occur; I began to smell the roses, hear the birds singing; my mind began to clear, and like the sun peeking through the clouds, I slowly began to see things differently, about my kids, my life, my goals and dreams for myself.

We hurry through life and forget that “Waiting” (remaining stationary) is a valid step to life’s processes.  It’s where new perspective, new ideas and new attitudes are formed.  Priorities begin to re-arrange themselves.  The important stuff seems to rise to the top and the “not-so-important” falls off the list.

Like death and taxes, laundry and dishes will be with you Always.  Our children won’t be young forever.  They won’t always be willing to hang with us, let us share in their disappointments and victories.

Embrace the quiet, live in readiness and expectation.  Don’t stray far from resting in patience.  For in the Waiting Place, life gains new perspective . . . And Oh, the Places You Will Go!

Someone asked me the other day, what was my most memorable Holiday. I think they were anticipating a story filled with fun traditions and great family memories.

Instead, I said:  We lost our 4 yr old son at Mall of America.  You know, the largest Mall between here and Canada.   Nestled in Minneapolis, MN, this 5.2 million square foot facility contains roller coasters, a water park, a  theme park – and that’s just the first floor!

We lost (Oh I’m sorry – I mean, my HUSAND) lost our son while watching the 4 of them in Lego Land.  I traveled 3 stories from the food court with 6 bags of chicken nuggets and upon my return, noticed one was missing.

We searched high and low for that child.  No doubt, my husband’s hands were full.  Four kids ages 8 to1 in Lego Land can’t be easy.  But the more we searched and couldn’t find the little fella, the more my anxiety grew exponentially.

After calling Mall Security, we noticed a commotion, almost like a parade of people marching from the 3rd floor, making their way down the escalators.  Police officers, lightening equipment, cameras:  It looked like channel 2 news had arrived on the scene.  As I’m telling my husband, through tears, what I’m gonna do to him if we don’t find our child, we are circled by a camera crew – recording tears, private conversations and police interviews.

It turns out, Mall of America was taping Mall Cops for a television series on TLC.  Seriously?  Only to us would this happen – The Crazy Family; though we look fairly normal on the outside.

They asked if we’d be interested in signing a contract to be on TLC’s 1st Thanksgiving episode.  Now isn’t that Special.  Their first episode.  (Do you hear the cynicism)?

She said: It’s a story about families coming together.  Oh REALLY! ?  Uh, I wasn’t born yesterday, but I’m thinking it’s a story about Horrible Parents who can’t keep up with their kids in a mall the size of Montana.  After finding him in Spongebob Land, we made a bee-line to the car with TLC’s paparazzi camera crew chasing us with a contract, begging us to share our “Wonderful Family Reunion Story.”  We were all out of breath, running with strollers and diaper bags. I’ve never buckled kids in a car so fast. I’m pretty sure we left skid marks in the parking lot.

So when you’re beating yourself up for thinking you’re a terrible mom, because you forgot to feed little Johnny something with color for dinner or you missed Timmy’s Parent-Reader Day, forgot to slip money under the pillow from the tooth fairy or didn’t sign up your son for the football team, just think, you could be sharing your story on TLC with the whole world.  We all have tough days when life’s margins are running thin.  Just remember, we’re not perfect, but a work in progress.  Do your best and forget the rest.  Here’s to making holiday memories – ONLY the GOOD ONES!

I love to be happy, who doesn’t, right?  Webster’s defines Happiness as as state of Well-being and Contentment.  Well, sign me up.

I went to the “World of Coke” and their new slogan is “Open Happiness.”  Wouldn’t it be wonderful that every time your kid has a bad attitude, someone colors the living room wall or you slam your finger in the door, just grab a coke and “Open Happiness.”

Y, I’d have an 18 wheeler backed up to the front of my house, unloading 12 ounce cans of Happiness, quicker than he could blink.  Load me up, boys.

But it’s not that simple.  Happiness is not “The Midas Touch” where everything you put your hand to, turns to gold.  Happiness is a state of well being, wherever you are, in the moment – find contentment.

You don’t need to climb another rung on the corporate ladder, longing for a sportier car, a larger house, a shiner ring. It’s true contentment, just the joy of Being where you are, in the moment.

Try lying in in your backyard, looking up at the stars one evening.  Practice contentment.  It’s not usually a friend that’s beating down the door to get in,  but more of a quiet satisfaction.

Wherever you are, in whatever stage of life, take a deep breath, make a list of what makes you thankful; and Open Happiness, it’s zero calories.

It’s so easy to complain, isn’t it?  It just rolls off the tongue like a fine Wine.  I wish I didn’t have to go to work. My kids are driving me crazy.   It’s time to change the Oil, Again?  Life would be easier if I had a chef. I hate doing laundry.  It’s so Hot in the South.  Why did God make mosquitos?  Will the kids ever quit fighting?

It’s time to peek at Life’s Silver Lining and peel back the Gratitude.

The Book of Awesome, by Neil Pasricha. is a reminder to celebrate all of Life’s Little Moments,

Here is a list of  ”Awesome’s” that I’m sure you can appreciate.  Perhaps you can list a few of your own, to bring gratitude and thankfulness to the forefront of your day.

Sunday Naps

A Baby Falling Asleep On You

Feeling Grass Underneath Your Feet on the First Day of Spring

The Popping of Bubble Wrap

Singing Alone in the Car

The Fresh Smell After a Rain Storm

The Peacefulness on top of a Ski Slope

Enjoying a Fabulous Dinner Cooked by Someone Else

Rainy Pajama Day

Grandmas that Smells Like Pound Cake

When Someone Else Washes the Dishes

Sneaking Dollar Candy into the Movie Theatre

List Your Awesome’s! http://1000awesomethings.com/the-top-1000/

After 4 kids, and the fact that they EAT 24/7, eating in-between eating, it’s crazy. There are PB&J sandwiches, chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers everywhere, while the Strawberries sit nicely on the counter, waiting patiently for someone to try them.  Now that my youngest is 2, I can’t use; “I just had a baby” as an excuse for weight I had gained.

I joined an online-points tracking system.  You enter what you ate into the “food tracker” and what activities you did, in the “activity tracker.”  If I walked 3 miles, I’d type “walk” in the tool bar, to see how many points I’d earned toward my goal; and this is what the drop box said:  I kid you not:

Which did you do today?

Walk up stairs carrying 1-24 lbs (I assume kids or laundry)

Walk carrying a snow or leaf blower

Walk/Run with crutches

Walk pushing a wheel chair (didn’t mention a stroller)

Walk with a horse

Walk with golf clubs (ok, I’ll give ya that one)

I have to admit, I was hard pressed just to find:  Walking.  You know, fast paced, cardio, exercise-worthy Walking!  I’ve walked a million miles up stairs carrying laundry and children. By their standards, I should be skinny by now. It seemed as though they were giving us more excuses, for not really getting out and sweating.

Between kids and activities, school, taxi service, homework, office projects, dinner and bath time, some days it feels like there’s nothing left.  But you were a whole person with great ideas and thoughts before marriage and kids – now It’s time for You.  It’s time to write down those goals and begin accomplishing for Mwau!

I’ve spent too many years wishing this and hoping for that, without taking steps toward the goal.  I’d love to click my heels,  have a Genie in a Bottle at My Command and, Poof, the house is clean, Boom – To Do List – gone!  I could wish that I love to run, or put on gym clothes and hope to make it outside today; I think of things all day long.  But without Action, it doesn’t change a thing; except the guilt that tends to build inside.

Have you ever laid in bed, knowing you’re late to something, but didn’t want to get up? Yet, you lay there, procrastinating, not even enjoying time in bed, for worrying and thinking about how late you’re gonna be.  It’s time to Get Up, Grab Life by the Horns; Be Ahead of the Game for once.  It Feels Good.

No more whining, complaining, waiting, thinking, pondering, lying around perpetuating GUILT and knocking yourself over all the Energy You Place into Doing Nothing.  Become the Productive Citizen you always Hope for your own Children; get off your Rear and Take Action Today . . . Now . . . For You!  Be the Example.

Wanna own a business, write a blog, a book, join a team, invent a product, start a club . . . be the NFL’s oldest cheerleader?

No more “walking with crutches or pushing a wheel chair.”  This behavior offers very few rewards.   It’s time to Get Up, Lace up those Running Shoes, Open the Door Of Life and Take On what you’ve been mulling over for years.  You know what it is.  Write it Down and Trump It.

“You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!”  Dr. Seuss

Have you ever taken a photo of yourself and saw all the flaws and thought . . .  I wish I could photoshop that?  But it’s real life, right?  The Fabulous Life of Facebook works the same way.  We take our ordinary life, flaws and all, and write a fabulous post – minus the mundane – and thus, tweak our “picture of life.”

Who wants to hear that you can’t think of another way to make “Chicken” for dinner?  Who wants to hear that you have 9 more loads of laundry and you haven’t washed your hair since Wednesday? or that you ran out of gas on the way to soccer, and you feel like a dummy.

My life is pretty average.  I have 4 kids, and like most, I spend my days doing laundry, cooking dinner, making school lunches, running kids to and from soccer practice, art, music lessons, help with school projects, throw in a daily workout, write articles and try to scratch off the “To Do List” faster than items HOP on it.

In between all the laughter, the tears, the 2 year old hollering “EAT” EAT” EAT” & the 3 boys running in the house with new “tree house” ideas & school projects, something out of the ordinary will happen, that I need to post to Facebook; something fabulous, something worthy of celebration, that’s outside the realm of my laundry-piling, meal-cooking, diaper-changing day.

It reminds me of planning our Annual Family Photo;  it takes a couple of weeks to figure out what everyone is wearing; we have to match colors on some level,  organize outfits, have backups in case there are food spills and . . . you know the drill.

We typically do outdoor shots, and though the picture turns out fabulous, because our photographer, Crissy, is so talented, what I remember most are the gnats swarming around our heads, the dog spotting a duck across the pond and racing like a grey hound to catch it, the kids begging to play at the park and the baby crying because we had placed her in a red wagon, where she thought we were leaving her forever.

I remember after arranging all the clothes, loading everything in the car and arriving at our location, we had forgotten the babies’ pants.  Oh Dear God.  A turtle neck and a diaper, NICE!  And yet, the picture you see, is the Great American family, well put together – Living the Dream.  That’s right . . . Livin’ the Dream!

We get our kids all dressed to see Santa Claus.  They’re in red and plaid; the older kids are posing because you want them to – and the baby is screaming like mad, while the Santa Helper is clanging a bell to get their attention.  It’s all about the “Money Shot.”  Getting the kids to smile at the camera, all the while your upper lip is sweating.  It’s craziness.  This isn’t real life.  But we need to get the “Facebook” moment.

I have a friend that sends Christmas pictures of what REALLY happens when their family photo is taken.  It’s hilarious.   There’s always someone crying, one kid is goofing off and it’s AWESOME.  To be honest, it makes for a better story.  It makes me laugh so hard and the memory of that day is more precious.

So instead of “photo shopping” your life for the “Facebook” Moment, post the good, the bad and the mundane.  Just as “Chicken Soup” is Good for the Soul, posting “Real Life” is Good for the Spirit.    We’re all in This Together.  Here’s to truly living your life, inside out!

I’ll be 40 this year.  I know, I can’t believe it myself.  I use to say:  Yes, Ma’am to those people.  My heart tells me I’m younger, but the lines on my face and the amount of energy, tell me otherwise.  I’ve been mulling it over for about a year, what to do for my 40th birthday.  Something radical? Out of this world? Never been done? I need to scrape together a bucket list, and FAST! I’m gonna be 40 people!

I could jump from a plane, learn a new language.  Maybe climb the Himilayas . . . Heck, I’m not even sure how to spell Himilayas.

Then I realized if 39 is anything like 40, it should feel like 38 or 37 for that matter.  It’s just a number and I didn’t need a number designating what “Crazy Act” to perform, at least not in the next 30 days.  Whether I learn to Salsa Dance or ride a Gondola in Venice, I have lived a great life, full of stories, adventures and friendships.

I don’t need a red convertible or seats to the U.S. Open, to tell me I’ve lived life.  Everything I have, (my kids, my family, my hobbies, my friends, my journey in this life) is right where I want it to be.

I don’t need to fly with Virgin Air on their first outer space mission, to know I’ve lived life to its fullest.  As I struggled with this concept, (Have I truly embraced all life has to offer?  Am I missing out on the excitement that’s out there?) I took a stroll one evening.

As I entered the house from the back porch, I looked through the window and saw my kids running around in the living room, jumping on my husband like a jungle gym; they were so happy, giggling about nothing and everything at the same time; the baby was dragging her blanket in one hand, while holding a baby doll in the other; the dog was barking, trying to get-in on the action; and that’s when I realized, my Bucket List was being checked off the entire time.

While it’s important to integrate some of those crazy “bucket list” adventures into your life, you don’t have to crunch them into a couple of months to prove your youth or vitality.

40 is the new 30.  But even if wasn’t, I have happiness, joy and love all around me, and if that’s not a goal to achieve, then what else is there?  Embrace today’s moments, and be thankful for all the Goodness in your Life.  Here’s to 40 and Beyond!

Have you ever been driving to your kid’s school or your parent’s house, and without thinking, you just ended up at your destination?  You don’t really remember the journey, because you drove in a daze and appeared there?  That’s when you know it’s time to shake it up a bit.

We get in Life’s “Rut” taking the kids to sports and ballet, running to the same grocery store, the same office, making the same 5 meals and wondering:  How did we get here?  It’s time to “Jump the Curb” girls. Get out of Life’s “Rut” and challenge ourselves to think outside the box.

My husband has traveled to NY on business, for years – and I never go, because . . . who’s gonna keep 4 kids for 4 days?  Besides, you’d spend hours pulling together medical information, school projects, little Henry has to be at baseball on Thursday, you know the gist.  It’s more work to pack and make lists, find baby sitters, write down “what-if” scenarios that will probably never happen and the list goes on.

But I did it.  I bit the bullet and wrote it all down, made all the arrangements and flew to NY for a weekend of adventure with my hubby.  And the return on the investment was priceless.  It was worth all the work.  As I walked through Times Square, I felt liberated.  I found the “Fun Girl” again, that lives life “off the cuff”, not worrying about changing diapers or making dinner.

My husband found his “girlfriend” again.  We dated that weekend and it was fun to hold hands and just go back in time to the way it use to be, without a million responsibilities.

On Friday, my husband went into the office, which gave me a day to myself to wonder the streets.  I got up early, went to NBC Studios, picked up standby tickets and hoped for the best. To be honest, I was nervous to leave the hotel, navigating all the streets, looking for buildings and entrances, all by myself.  But if I had not done it, I would have missed a day of adventure.

Instead of watching Dr. Oz on TV, I got to see him in person.  And that made for a fun story.  “Jumping the Rut of Life” is free-ing and fulfilling and will go along way, in taking care of your kids.  It’s makes you a better provider, heck, a better person for that matter.

It’s fun to let it all go and find your “core self” again.  Repeat this:  I’m Free to Be ME!!!!!!!

So when you’re up to your neck in mommy duties and you need a break, big or small “Jump Out of the Rut.”  Find yourself!  In doing so, you’ll gain liberation on your journey to adventure.

Click Link Below for Full Sample Chart:

Kid’s Responsibility Chart