Have you ever been driving to your kid’s school or your parent’s house, and without thinking, you just ended up at your destination?  You don’t really remember the journey, because you drove in a daze and appeared there?  That’s when you know it’s time to shake it up a bit.

We get in Life’s “Rut” taking the kids to sports and ballet, running to the same grocery store, the same office, making the same 5 meals and wondering:  How did we get here?  It’s time to “Jump the Curb” girls. Get out of Life’s “Rut” and challenge ourselves to think outside the box.

My husband has traveled to NY on business, for years – and I never go, because . . . who’s gonna keep 4 kids for 4 days?  Besides, you’d spend hours pulling together medical information, school projects, little Henry has to be at baseball on Thursday, you know the gist.  It’s more work to pack and make lists, find baby sitters, write down “what-if” scenarios that will probably never happen and the list goes on.

But I did it.  I bit the bullet and wrote it all down, made all the arrangements and flew to NY for a weekend of adventure with my hubby.  And the return on the investment was priceless.  It was worth all the work.  As I walked through Times Square, I felt liberated.  I found the “Fun Girl” again, that lives life “off the cuff”, not worrying about changing diapers or making dinner.

My husband found his “girlfriend” again.  We dated that weekend and it was fun to hold hands and just go back in time to the way it use to be, without a million responsibilities.

On Friday, my husband went into the office, which gave me a day to myself to wonder the streets.  I got up early, went to NBC Studios, picked up standby tickets and hoped for the best. To be honest, I was nervous to leave the hotel, navigating all the streets, looking for buildings and entrances, all by myself.  But if I had not done it, I would have missed a day of adventure.

Instead of watching Dr. Oz on TV, I got to see him in person.  And that made for a fun story.  “Jumping the Rut of Life” is free-ing and fulfilling and will go along way, in taking care of your kids.  It’s makes you a better provider, heck, a better person for that matter.

It’s fun to let it all go and find your “core self” again.  Repeat this:  I’m Free to Be ME!!!!!!!

So when you’re up to your neck in mommy duties and you need a break, big or small “Jump Out of the Rut.”  Find yourself!  In doing so, you’ll gain liberation on your journey to adventure.

Sample Responsibility Chart for kids 2 to 10.

Click Link Below for Full Sample Chart:

Kid’s Responsibility Chart

People call or send emails weekly, asking questions about raising kids and I have to say, having 4 does NOT make me an expert, rather a person who’s probably failed many more times than not, doing the wrong thing, more than the average person.  So hey, if you can learn from my mistakes, that’s even better.

I’ve had more opportunities to fail.  Don’t you feel better ALREADY?  And probably apologized way more times than you’ll ever have to, and am always reminding myself that Practice makes Progress.  It’s called Life – and we’re on this crazy journey together.

1) What’s it like to have 4 kids?

The same as having 2 or 3, it’s just exponential with each child.  I have friends who have many more than me, and some with learning disabilities, so I, by no means, have it as hard or feel as frustrated as some moms who really have to kick it in gear when they don’t always feel like it.  To you, I salute your determination.

For us, it’s Crazy and Loud and everyone’s always hungry . . . there’s a ton of laundry.  But I don’t think about it too often.  Mostly because there’s no time.  I spend my days repeating myself and very seldom do I finish a complete sentence, thought or phrase without interruption.  Whether you have 2, 4, 6 or 8, you still have to make dinner, crank up the washer and drive kids around, so – GREAT JOB MOMS!  You deserve to make your own treasure box full of goodies. (www.dancepartyforone.blogspot.com)

2) Friends ask:  Was it hard having 4 kids?

No.  The answer is an Epidural.  That seemed like the easy part, until my epidural didn’t work once, for about 30 minutes, and I heard something in the room that sounded like a wolf howling.  I know, it scared me too.  But when the epidural works, it’s like the Disney Slogan:  It’s a Magical Day!

3) What sort of responsibilities do you give your kids?

Around our house, if 6 people make one mess, it’s gridlock, so everyone is responsible for cleaning up and putting back what they take out.  The kids (no matter the age) help in some capacity with the dishes, the laundry, cleaning their room and feeding the dog.  OK, Max gets jibbed some days, but for the most part, he’s fed daily.  We’re a team – and that means everyone has a role to play for the success of our family.  It’s all for One and One for All.

4) How do you instill a sense of community in your children’s lives?

We can easily become selfish and live in a world that is “ALL ABOUT ME”  It’s important that the kids see it as “WE” not Me.  We’re a community and have to help one another.  I show them pictures of the kids we sponsor in Africa and have them give a percentage of the money they earn through household responsibilities, to purchase items to give as gifts through Samaritan’s Purse.  They get so excited to use their own money to purchase fun items for other children.

5) How do you discipline your kids?

Every child is different. But this is what typically works for us: If the kids get into big fights and the one at fault is unwilling to apologize, I will randomly allow the offended party to decide the punishment.  i.e. the offender goes to bed 15 minutes earlier than everyone else.  That usually does the trick.  Next time, they’ll treat others as they would like to be treated.

If they breach a virtue (i.e. lie, cheat, steal) or disrespect mom, (rolling of the eyes/ slamming the door) it’s immediate corporal punishment.  They already know the rules, so they should consider that, their fair warning.

Carelessness, not listening . . . like throwing balls in the house and breaking things, equates to more chores beyond their regular day to day responsibilities, or taking away games, television, DS.  When we take away one of the big 3, they tend to “turn their ears on” quicker.

6) How do you stop your kids from waking up at 5:30am on the weekends?

There are no cartoons before 8:30am and each child has an electronic clock in his/her room.  They have to sleep or play in their room until they see 8 3 0.  Otherwise, the first task of the day is a chore, such as folding towels or cleaning the playroom.  This usually does the trick and we all get to sleep-in on the weekends.

7)  How do you do everything?

Who says I do.  Between sports, homework, chores, music lessons and life in general, we’ve eaten cereal for dinner on occasion. 85% of the time, the kids take healthy lunches to school.  The other 15%, they eat in the cafeteria.   There comes a time when “the list” becomes too long, the plates need extra spinning and you have to let go of something.  Give yourself permission to Surrender.

There’s no guideline that says we have to raise our kids a certain way.  Make it fun, adventurous, outside the box.  Eat dinner at the park, have the kids make their own lunch for a change.  No one is going to die.  You just need a break to recoup, re-strategize and re-define your goals.  As I’ve heard it said before:  Do your Best and Forget All the Rest.

Do you feel guilty doing fun things for yourself?

Absolutely Not!  You should feel guilty if you DON’T.  As the CEO of my Household, it’s important to take care of me; be a good example of a well-rounded, happy person, engaged in outside events, hobbies, social activities, tennis, date night, spa day, healthy activities that inspire you to be a better mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend.

You want the kids to see that life can be fun after childhood, and if it’s not:  you might need to re-access.  It’s not just about paying bills, cleaning the house and running kids from here to there.  Don’t be a martyr. Life is what you make it: Now get out there and make it FULL, FUN & FABULOUS!

When I moved to Atlanta, one of my new friends invited John and I to meet-up with their friends at a person’s house for a little party, meet and greet.  They sent us an invitation, told us meet them on Tuesday at 7pm at a certain address: in which we would be meeting in the basement, where it was designed to look like a 50′s diner.  Sounds like a no brainer.  And a lot of fun. New town, new friends.

John and I got dressed, drove over to their house, walked in the front door – didn’t see anyone, so we headed down to the basement, “Yes, this is the place – 50′s Diner.”  We waited for 10 or 15 minutes, giving ourselves a personal tour of the house.  Still, no one else had arrived.  John saw their foosball table and wanted to play, but I got this uneasy feeling, so we headed back upstairs.

We came around the corner, and this couple was eating dinner with their 3 kids.  They looked at us, sorta stunned, like:  Who are YOU and WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?  We smiled and said, OH our friend invited us to your house to meet everyone on Tuesday at 7pm.  He slowly pulled his reading glasses down below his eyes and said:  That’s NEXT TUESDAY AT 7PM.

I wanted to DIE of embarrassment.  Honestly, I didn’t want to go back next Tuesday.  They had no idea there were random people in their basement for 15 minutes.  That’s pretty scary to think about.  They kindly invited us to stay for dinner, OH Dear God, I just wanted to run.  Highly embarrassed, we quickly said our goodbyes and jumped in the car.  John shook his head, saying:  This sort of thing NEVER happened to me, until I met you. We laugh about it now.

That’s how it is with God.  No matter how many mistakes and mess ups, regrets, failures, and wrong turns, He invites us back to the table with unconditional love, grace and forgiveness.  No matter what we do or don’t do, whether we’re deserving or not, God always invites us back with an open invitation – a do-over of sorts.  It’s called GRACE.  Pass it along.  Just take note:  The next time you find yourself in someone’s basement, don’t play foosball, until you meet the Host first.  : )

Here’s to GRACE!

Ephesians 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

When I was 11 years old, we had a school fundraiser – selling cookies, and the top 10 winners got a chance to walk on stage in front of the entire school and choose from over 100 items.  It was the ultimate treasure box of electronics, sports equipment and apparel. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.  I began selling cookies door to door and within 2 hours had sold over $400.

My mom was so shocked and amazed at my drive to win a prize, she joined the mission and drove me all over town, ending with $1000 worth of cookies sold by sunset.  I came in 3rd place and proudly walked on stage, glancing at everything carefully, picking up this and checking out that, until my eyes landed on . . . drum roll please . . . a Red Panasonic Cassette Player & Recorder.  I proudly walked off that stage beaming, as if someone had given me a sports car.

Like most kids, mine will do anything for a Gold Star, Money or Prizes from the Treasure Box.  Sometimes I wish someone would give me a treasure box.  I’d surely be more motivated. Why should kids have all the fun?  So when my friend Becky challenged me to write down 10 things under $10 that I could reward myself with, instead of food, I went right to work.

I’m a gift person, so I figured I’d have my list completed within a couple of minutes, but what I realized is:  I knew everyone else’s list, but had trouble figuring out my own.  It’s in our nature to serve others, often times forgetting about ourselves.  It’s much easier to give, than receive.

We’re not used to having the tables turned – instead we’re taking dinner orders, like an overworked waitress handling 6 tables at once, with life’s demands flying on our “to do” list quicker than we can strike them off.

I’m much like the kids – a rabbit chasing a carrot.  You dangle a play pretty in front of me, I’m immediately motivated to do what it takes to get the job done. . . laundry . . . dishes. . . groceries.  If you splash a little motivation in the mix, it’s amazing how much work you can squeeze out of me.

What motivates you?  Create a list of 10 items under $10 and reward yourself!  Here’s my list, to get the creative juices flowing.  Make yourself a treasure box.  You deserve it!

Stephanie’s Treasure Box:

Sleeve of Golf Balls (pink or bright yellow) – easier to find in the woods

Movies: Comedies: Sweet Home Alabama / Christmas Vacation

Inspirational Books / Biography’s / Magazines

Eye brows waxed – this is good for everyone

Fun Jewelry – Rings (Pier One Imports, Target, Art/Glass Shops)

iTunes downloads

Tennis Balls (I love to hear the sound of freshness when I pop open a can)

Colorful knit scarfs

Girlie Baseball Caps

Fun Nail Polish

So here’s to creating your very on treasure box.  Thanks Becky for your inspiration and your blog:  dancepartyforone.blogspot.com

When I was 5 years old, my birthday landed on Easter. There was an Easter Egg Hunt at my uncle Jerry’s and the prize was a Golden Egg.  My heart was racing with excitement as I gazed every nook and cranny of the yard, looking for the prize.  And suddenly it appeared, as if my uncle wanted Me to find it on my birthday  As he presented me with the Prize, out came his wallet and a $5 bill.

You would have thought Publisher’s Clearing House had shown up to my door with a big check.  Stephanie Pletka, you are the winner of. . . drum roll please, $5 Dollars!  Ta Da!  I saw confetti, in my mind, that day.

I took that golden egg (eh hem – boiled egg dipped in gold) to bed with me.  I carried it around in a little tin bucket all week. Till one day, high on the shelf, I discovered that in the middle of the night, ants had made their way up the wall, like a little army, and had destroyed my perfect golden egg.  That egg represented my happiness and just like that:  It was gone!

Webster’s defines happiness as a state of well being or contentment.  They didn’t say anything about a golden egg.

Often times, we carry our happiness around like it’s this fragile object that can be taken away at any moment.  Hello, my name is Surface Happy, a “fly by the seat of my pants” friend.  It’s that (Wear it on your Sleeve) shallow happiness.  With one blow of a horn, talking to a jerky customer service rep or the kids scraping paint off your new car with THEIR bike handles. . . Everything goes to Hell in a Hand Basket.  The minute someone bumps your Happy, BAM, Happiness leaves the building and Crazy takes its place.

Don’t allow those individual circumstances to define your day.  Happy needs deeper roots, like an oak tree planted firmly along a rushing stream.  Don’t let instances beyond your control steal your happiness.

With all the places we go and the things we do, we’re constantly in-and-out of nice and not-so-nice moments.  The kids make you breakfast (ah, how sweet) a parent calls you out on something (ah, I’m a sucky mom).

Of course, we’re gonna feel it in the moment, but we can’t allow those instances to determine the path of our day, or who we are as a person.  We can’t carry the load of those who were mean or rude to us, on our back to the next situation.  We have to isolate it in a box and see it for what it is.  Learn to quickly slosh off the junk and Embrace a sturdier, hardier, healthier, deep rooted happy that can’t easily be bumped, destroyed or stolen.

Your Happiness is no golden egg, rather an Oak Tree not easily moved.  Walk in deep rooted Happy today and when there’s a bump in the road, see it as just that, a bump.  If you can hold on to “Your Happy in Life”, you’ll feel as though Publisher’s Clearing House made YOU the winner, and you may even see Confetti in your mind.  Ta Da!

Here’s to Making Every Moment Count!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

I was 5 years old playing dress up, when I got the bright idea to put on a pair of tennis shoes with a pair of women’s panty hose over the top of them.  While I wasn’t the brightest one of the bunch, I had my moments, but that wasn’t one of ‘em.

When I went to pull off my tennis shoes, they wouldn’t budge.  With the panty hose over the top, no matter how much I kicked, screamed, rolled and slung, those shoes would NOT come off. The more I wrestled, the more frustrated I got, and in the end, I was laid out on the floor, exhausted with stretched out panty hose and 2 shoes draggin’  behind.

That’s how it is with life sometimes.  We try to re-arrange the process, skip a few steps and wonder why life doesn’t work out the way we planned.  Without any prayer, counsel and the attitude that “I’m gonna do this myself, come hell or high water,” we’re wearing our panty hose on top of our shoes.

We skip through life trying to make things work on our own, shoving squares into round holes, wondering why some days, the world is against us.

When the entire time, God is wanting us to Be Still and Know that He is God. Ps. 46:10

Instead of praying about our day, our friends, our choices, our daily decisions that will effect our family and their lives, we just go and do what we want, with little thought or effort about God’s plan for our day, our week, our life.

In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success. Proverbs 3:6.

That means, pray before starting the day.  Pray for good friends, wise choices; perhaps that God will place someone in your path who needs YOU, today. Pray for your kids, that they’ll have favor with their teachers, their friends, their employers.

Placing God first, is always a good way to start the day.  No more spinning your wheels with little productivity.  In the end, we’re not really playing dress up.  This is real life and there’s no time for Panty Hose Drama.

It was a gorgeous day out, so I had all the kids playing with those huge bubble wands on the back porch.  As I walked thru the kitchen, admiring all the fun they were having, I didn’t notice they had spilled a pint of bubbles on the floor. I slid across the hard woods, like a cartoon character, trying to grab everything I skidded past to save myself, and landed in the splits by the back door.  I chipped my elbow, sprained my wrist and bruised my knee.

In the blink of an eye, I went from walking across the kitchen floor in running shoes, (thinking fondly of my kids), to landing in the splits by the back door – and didn’t even see it coming. I was totally blind sided by the entire event.  One minute I was here, and the next, I was gone!

There’s a song by Revive, called  ”It Happens in a Blink” and it sure did.

It happens in a Blink

It happens in a Flash,

It happens in the Time it took to look Back

You try to hold on Tight,

But there’s no stopping Time,

What have I done with my Life!

There are 86,400 seconds in a day and we’re not promised them all.

Teach me to number my days, that I may have a heart of wisdom and fulfill my Purpose for this Life.  Ps. 90:12

The clock is ticking, and like characters in a story, none of us know how much time we have left.  Some people pass at the ripe old age of 100, others – due to foreseen illness . . . while many are on our way from here to there, in a hurry, thinking about our next business meeting, what they’re making for dinner, and In the blink of an eye, we’re here today and gone tomorrow.  We’re standing upright, and the next moment we’re doing the splits by the heavenly door.

Make it count, before you turn around and it’s too late.  The Hands of Time are ticking and there are no real do-overs.  There are few things that can’t be recovered in life, and one is Time – after it’s been Spent.

If today was your last day, who would you call, what would you say, how would you do it differently?  It’s easy to say: Live like you’re dying.   But do we . . . Really?

Do our kids know how we feel about them or is work more important?

When I was a kid, no matter what we did for fun or how many times, I always begged for ONE More!  Sometimes you get it, sometimes you won’t.

We get the call in the night, that changes our life forever.  Write the letter, write the book, write the blog, make the call, put down your most pressing issues that really aren’t so pressing.  It Happens in a Blink!

When I was 5 years old, I fell off the top of a bunk bed, dreaming that I could roll forever.  It was a vivid dream of white puffy clouds, until I got a 1/2 roll and Boom, off I went.  My head karate chopped the side of the bed  . . . and I won a round trip ticket to the ER.

From that day on, I became quiet familiar with the Emergency Room, acquiring stitches many more times, before moving out of the “clumsy, oops I did it again” stage of my life.

From reaching up to place a bird in its nest and falling 10 feet, to slashing my ankle in a stain glass shop, it seemed as though I had a scarlet thread of “oppsie daisies” running through my life.

Some accidents involved selfless acts, others involved adventure; and while the memories of those days are vague, the scars still remain.  Sometimes we need those scars to remind us of tough days gone by.  Some people suffer from disease, loss of a job, a child, a home or loss of themselves.

You look at a scar and know there’s a story.  It’s easy to complain.  Complaints seem to jump out at every opportunity and like a ball rolling down a hill, it has its own momentum, taking little effort to sustain:  the kids are driving you crazy, the dishes and laundry are mounting a war, your budget isn’t big enough, the car isn’t clean enough.  We wished we had a grocery delivery service, an errand boy, a nanny, a better job, a bigger house, more time, more money, a date night, someone who thinks I’m right – and the list goes on.

We all suffer hardships and unpleasantries, some more than others for sure . . . I read a blog the other day of a woman who had just had a baby.  She wrote a Top 10 List of all the things she loves about having a newborn.  And also admitted, she could write a list equally as long, listing all the tough – how did this happen, what have I done, this hurts, why won’t they sleep, wha wha wha moments, but she chose not to.

Turn your face toward the goodness, the hopefulness.  Lift up your eyes and count the blessings.  Write them down, shout ‘em from the roof top; however you’re reminded, do it.  Look at the weight you’ve lost, not the weight that remains; be thankful for the car you drive, not wishing for something you don’t; embrace the moments you have with your family; live life to the fullest.  The living room is messy, but you have a house full of happy kids.  In the Race of Life, we can choose to focus on the moans and groans, and heavy breathing to the finish line, or we can be thankful that WE’RE BREATHING!

Life on this earth will bring heartache, you can count on it.  I’ve never met anyone who’s truly lived, that didn’t bare a scar.  What is your view from the front porch looking’ in?  Will you look at the scar and view hardship or what you gained through the experience.  You’re alive . . . every day, hour and minute, you can have a do-over to make this life, Something Beautiful.

A Word to the Wise: If you find yourself on a bunk bed, dreaming you can roll forever . . . Don’t Do It!

Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14)

Growing up, my Dad always said:  There’s a Hard Way and an Easy Way.  For whatever reason, I chose the hard one- and ended up with a few more beats, bumps and bruises along the way.

Probably like you, our kids wake up for school in the dark.  I’m not a morning person.  I would much rather see the sun Set than the sun Rise; and I’m a firm believer it’s not truly daytime, when the moon is still up at 6am.

I’m always asking moms how they handle morning routines, after school snacks and endless laundry.  There’s no reason to re-invent the wheel.  I’d rather copy it.

Does this sound familiar?  I would get up 30 minutes before the kids woke up, commence to make lunches and realize we’re out of bread.  Hmmm . . . there’s no cereal for breakfast and only 3 mis-matched socks in the laundry basket.  I was spinning my wheels, trying to re-configure Plan A with Plan C about the time the kids were waking up.

“Mom!  said child #1:  Where’s the socks . . . One is crying, I don’t want to take a frozen burrito to school – there’s no microwave.”  Child #3 is still sleeping, after I’ve run up the stairs twice to wake him and Child #2 is upset because he wanted cereal, instead of last night’s pork chop for breakfast.    Poor kids, what a mess.  If only I were organized!

I have 3 boys in school:  Pre-k, 1st & 3rd.  I know what it’s like to bribe, fight, cry and whine my way through morning rush hour to get them to brush their teeth, eat breakfast and get dressed in the morning.  Then one day, after dreading the morning routine, I decided enough was enough.  I’m the boss of this joint and I’m not gonna take it anymore. If there was going to be a Revolt, it was coming from me!

And just like that, the Pletka family went through boot camp 101.  Like a captain in the Army, I put them in a single file line and we marched from upstairs to downstairs, acting out the way I wanted “Morning Routine” to look like. The baby followed along with her blankie dragging behind.  No more whining . . . no more crying . . . no more “I don’t wanna wear that.”  Nope, nada, nein, not gonna happen.

I lined them up one by one and asked:  Are you potty trained?  Yes Mom!  Do you know where the spoons are located?  Yes Mom.  Do you know how to pour Milk? And the list went on.  Just like the movie Dodgeball, in a scruffy, old, cynical voice he said:  If you can Dodge a Wrench, you can Dodge a Ball . . . My theory was:  If you can pour milk, you can feed yourself!

And this is how it went down: I began placing cereal in a bowl with a spoon in it, the night before.  All they have to do is pour the milk and eat.

In the evenings, when we make lunches for the kids, I lay out their clothes, socks, shoes, back packs, lunch boxes, the whole enchilada, to make this portion of the day, run like a well-oiled machine.  If a pair of socks or one shoe is missing, it can be a deal breaker – put a glitch in the morning, maybe miss the bus and everyone’s in a bad mood.  If Jr.’s shoes are outside under the trampoline, you’re up the creek.

We placed alarm clocks in each room, so they go off at the same time, or pretty darn close.  They come running down the stairs, trying to pass each other along the way.  It sounds like a herd of animals running on their heels, beating and thumping all the way down.  This, in turn, becomes my alarm clock.

While one is eating breakfast, the other brushes his teeth and yet another is putting on his clothes.  They circulate through the 3 step process with minutes to spare.  Life is much better, now that we have a system in place.  They feel a little more independent, I’m relinquished of my role as drill sergeant and am realizing these little guys are growing up fast and I need to freeze frame all the moments.

Life has changed.  We sleep a 1/2 an hour longer, lunches are pre-made at night, outfits are pre-approved and the kids are much happier.

I’m amazed at how children can step up and make it happen, when we raise the bar and increase our expectations of them. There’s a Hard Way and an Easy Way, both with the same destination, but how you get there, can make ya or break ya.  Enjoy Your Life!

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, so when he’s old, he will not depart from it.

When we go to my parents house, it looks as though the Circus has come to town.  After a 7 hour drive, the mini-van door flies open – and little clowns are jumping out, one by one, by one by one.  Chic-Fil-a bags, sippy cups and nintendo games are leaping out the sides as if they’re trying to escape; sounds of cups rolling down the drive way and baby cries escalating are enough to make anyone run for the hills. Just as my husband pops the trunk open, out jumps a back pack, 2 stuffed animals and my make-up bag decides to explode.

Ah, the joys of traveling with the Circus.  No matter how much money you have, it is never enough for all the things they want: food, clothes, braces, music lessons, endless ice cream and toys.  No matter how many diapers you bring, it is too few.  The potty training-kid leaves a black line on the toilet lid; little Johnny did an art project on his face with a Sharpie Pen, and the dog pooped in the back room, because no one took him outside today.

Then there are the hugs, and kisses . . . the first time your baby girl says:  Mama . . . the giggles that come when they understand their first joke, conversations they have with their little siblings in the back seat, as they fight over whether daddy flew to You Nork, or  New York.

Our job as the Ring Master can be tiresome and relentless.  My mom laughed that we didn’t need to go to the circus, we WERE the Circus.  Just as attending this event has become something of the past, family life and spending real, quality time with each other has become old fashion as well.  From busy schedules and homework, to team sports and iphone texting, pretty soon, we’ll look around and the circus has packed up and left.

Did we spend real quality time with our kids, soak in the moments (eye to eye, knee to knee), let them wrestle on the floor, play with their barbies and listen to their big ideas that took 10 minutes to spit out?  Did we really look, when they wanted us too, or are we saying: a huh, yes, sure, in a minute, maybe later, not now . . . . without even a gaze in their direction.

At some point, we’ll have a view from our back porch looking in, and we’ll realize the Big Top Circus has packed up and left. There will be an old tire swing in the backyard, reminding us of days gone by, a tree house that now only whispers of the fun times had.  The loud noises we hear are now coming from our neighbors driveway . . . sippy cups rolling down the road, Chic-fil-a bags falling out the car doors and make-up bags exploding as baby cries escalate.

Don’t be in such a hurry, flying here to there, flustered over stuff that doesn’t really matter.  What you have is the Greatest Show on Earth!  Embrace your job as the Ring Master and when it’s all said and done, there will be no regrets.  It will be: Well done, My Good and Faithful Servant.  Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend, if you’ve invested in your circus and embraced all the moments, they will always come back and visit.  And they’ll think You’re The Greatest Show on Earth.  Here’s to Happy, Healthy Families.

Matthew 25: 21

The Master was full of praise.  “Well done, my good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you more responsibilities.  Let’s celebrate together.”

Now you’re probably thinking, I know where she’s going with this story:  Don’t forget where you came from, know where you’re going and never loose track of what matters most in life . . .  Hey, not bad . . . and valid points if I say so myself, but with a twist.

A couple of months before I headed to college, my mom felt the need to write my name on everything I owned:  My clothes, my type writer (I know, a what???) my books, my suit case, MY underwear (nice) and anything else that couldn’t be nailed to the ground.

One night, during a prayer service of thousands at my Christian school, I knelt to pray.  As I was getting up, I realized on the bottom of each shoe, written with a Black Sharpie was my FULL NAME from toe to heel.  Sixteen letters!  If embarrassment could of killed, I would have died that night.

If I was lost, I was found:  all I had to do was look at my shoes, my underwear or my purse to remember who I was.  The only thing my mom didn’t write my name on, was an umbrella – and it was stolen on the first rainy day.

Do you know who you are?  Sometimes, we get caught up in the pressure of life, whether it be money, status, certain relationships, keeping up with the Joneses’, trying to stay ahead of the game, being something we’re not and we forget about what really matters:  our integrity, helping others, common sense, good character and remembering that the journey is WAY more important than arrival . . . because we’re never really there, we’re just on our way.

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We get in a groove, a rut of sorts, living our nice little life, surrounding ourselves with our BFFs, enjoying “girl’s night,” sports night, placing our kids in every music class, on every athletic team and trying to maintain the status quo . . . Cause after all, we’ve gotta look good.  But don’t forget Who You Are.

Don’t forget that person of adventure who used to try new things, the person who used to write letters to change wayward political views, the person who sought to help those in need, the one who use to ski, scuba dive or golf, but can never find the time, the once fit mom or dad who’s got the (I have a family and don’t have time to take care of myself” syndrome).  If we look at our TRUE Self, we may not recognize the current person in the mirror.  It’s time to RECLAIM Our Life!

Roll up those sleeves, make a “to do” list.  A new one – that slouches away the junk, the facades, the things in life that keep us busy, spinning our wheels . . . things that seem urgent, but really aren’t; imposters that quietly move in and sweetly take over our TRUE Self.  It’s time to come clean, start exercising, start writing, golfing, reclaiming date night, family night; go back to basics and talk to each other eye to eye, not text to text.  Don’t be the stolen umbrella of life, the person who is so far away from who you really wanna be, that your true identity has faded.  It’s time to reclaim who you Really Are, who you wanna be . . .

Just as those shoes had my name boldly written on them, claiming their owner, your life should proudly proclaim your name, the Owner of Your Life. Find your True Self and Write Your Name on it.

Let your eyes look on with a fixed purpose, and your gaze be straight before you. Proverbs 4: 25

I was raised in the SOUTH!  Life was pretty simple.  All you needed was a good bike, fishing pole and a trampoline.  Brushing my hair wasn’t a high priority, but tree climbing was.  We lived in a modest house, but nobody told me.  Life was full of adventure, dirt roads and all the ice cream you could eat.  I had parents who loved me with all their heart and told me daily.  It doesn’t get much better than that.

Then I grew up and moved to the City . . . Atlanta to be exact.  We bought a house that seemed a little too big for the needs of 3 people, but now that there’s six, it sometimes feels as though we’re bustin’ at the seams.  I love my house.  We’ve done quiet a few home improvement projects and I’ve had fun decorating it. But then we made a mistake. We visited a house nicer than ours.

We went to a party a while back and let me just say, this house should have been in the “Parade of Homes.”  I’m surprised they let us in.  After a fun evening with friends, I came back to my house and all the sudden, my ceilings were too low, the TV was too small, the kitchen felt too tight and . . .I think the living room shrunk!  I wanted to kick the cat . . . but I didn’t have one.

We are all on an UPWARD spiral to obtain the Golden Handcuffs, the dangling carrot, the top of the corporate ladder.  When is the house big enough, the car styling enough, the corporate title impressive enough?

The problem with this “Pie in the Sky” mentality, is there’s no finish line.  There’s no race course with a flag at the end that says:  You made it!!!  Congratulations, you are Officially SUCCESSFUL!  You can rest now.

Contentment is the state of being satisfied.  It is A State, not An Estate!  Finding satisfaction and keeping it, is a balancing act, with someone constantly trying to knock us off the “balance beam of life.  The grass is always greener, the schools we AREN’T accepted to – are better, the tennis outfit she’s wearing is cooler.  It’s a crazy cycle that steals the joy of the moments we’ve worked so hard for. Life is never quiet good enough because we don’t have a finish line to know where “good enough” is.

Contentment comes from within.  If this button isn’t fixed, all the upgrades in the world can’t repair or fill the void.

What really matters is the legacy we leave on this earth.  I’ve never read an obituary that said:  His house was 10,000 sq. feet!  Can you believe it? or she was the top realtor in town with 1 million in quarterly sales.

Nope! Instead, you’ll read words that describe their character . . the impact this person had on their friends, family and community.  How they prayed big . . . helped big, loved big.

What is the most valuable item here on this earth, that if it were hurt, sick, bothered or taken, you would give your life to protect it?  This should be your focus.  A house can burn, a car can stall, a job can be lost . . .

Invest in things that matter.  Not in materialism, but in relationships;  your family, your spouse, your kids.  Value the time spent with them at the park, on a date, in the car, working on a school project; etch in your mind the hilarious stories and endless laughing you enjoy with your friends.  Enjoy those late night walks and meaningful talks.  For we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

Go back to the simpler days; have a picnic at the park, lay on a blanket with your spouse.  Bring back Thursday game night, write your friends a “hand written” note. Take your buddy fishing.  Life is short, but it can be so sweet.  Go back to the basics, for in it you will find contentment and great satisfaction . . . and maybe a good tree to climb.

Hebrews  13:5 – Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.  God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

I Timothy 6:6 – But Godliness with contentment is great gain.

When my oldest son Jack was 2, he would often fall asleep in hard to find places, the dog bed, a dresser drawer, in the closet, you name it – In an effort to find him, I was always saying with a LOUD Voice, Jack Pletka . . . COME HERE!

One day when we were out shopping, a lady knelt down and asked him his name, and with a resounding confidence he said:  “My name is Jack Pletka Come Here! ” I about died with laughter.  He thought that was his name.

While that’s a cute story, often times we think we may have the answer to something we feel strongly about.  An idea that needs no counsel, because it seems like a no brainer.  But you may be wrong.  Just like Jack, confidently telling the lady his name was “Come Here”  often times we may have a plan in our head – that seems to fit like a circle in a round hole;  just because it fits, doesn’t mean it’s the correct answer for you.

Step back, talk it out, pray it out!  Talk to friends who may have well thought-out advice on the subject.  Your kids may be dating a GOOD guy, but maybe not the RIGHT guy.  You may be placing your life savings into a GOOD idea, but not a GOD idea. This will make a huge impact on the story board of your life.  Pause, seek good counsel and like Phil. 4:6-7 says:   Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and minds.

When I was 14, my parent’s started a business, in hopes of one day, providing a better future for the 4 of us. Times were tough and tight, but we stuck together; nothing was going to bring us down. With all the trucks, inventory, employees and building expenses, we went from eating bologna sandwiches to fried potatoes.  Which, to this day I am still fond of.

Life, by all accounts had little margin, money was tight and time was even tighter.  As the years went by, the business grew, but so did the bills.  It typically takes 5 years to get a business off the grown and soaring; In 3 years, we were hovering.  When it was time for me to go college, I know my dad was sweating.  There was no money for school.  We thought of all the ways we could make the money.  We thought of every thing known to man, seriously.  But each idea fell short . . . it felt hopeless.

That’s when my mom began to pray.  She prayed Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isaiah 55:9  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts greater than yours.  I’m glad HIS ways and ideas are greater.  God has to really be on his game . . .  if he’s gonna think of something greater than my ideas, because my imagination is pretty “up there.”

So guess what happened?  You’re not gonna believe this.  5 years earlier, the Judge in our town, a friend of my dad’s, had asked him to handle the finances of a Vietnam Veteran who had medical problems and needed help paying his bills.  My dad went above those obligations and began taking him to buy groceries, helping him shop for clothes, took him to doctors appointments and just helped the guy out, as life became more of a struggle.

Three months before college enrollment, the Judge called my dad into his chambers and said:  “We have a problem.”  The estate had not paid my dad for the last 5 years, for taking the Veteran from here to there and there to here.  Dad had no idea he was suppose to be paid for mileage, which added up to over $18,000 dollars.  Bam, my first year of college was paid in full. See, you can think of all the different ideas and ways of how something is gonna play out, but if you just pray about everything, presenting your requests to God, you’ll find peace that passes all understanding; his ways will be greater than yours, and he may send you someone named:  Jack Pletka Come Here -  to tell you that everything is gonna be alright!

Here’s to giving God the chance to write the Story Board of Your Life!

Technology is fabulous, until it replaces the “Personal Side of Life.”

Webster’s dictionary defines “Fellowship” as:  a mutual sharing of an experience, activity or interest, companionship, a brotherhood / sisterhood.

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I’m not talking about chit chat . . .  “How have you been, how are the kids?  blah blah blah? I mean good old fashion deep conversations, pee in your pants laughter . . . accountability, parents sharing with other parents, grandparents spending quality time with their grand kids. We all need human contact, eye ball to eye ball . . . to have those (I know what you mean, kind of conversations) where the longer you talk, the more you can relate, bond and get that A HA Moment.  We all need that sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves.

The other day my friend Shelly wrote me a handwritten letter, something I honestly had not received in years.  I’m used to seeing bills and junk mail, not a hand written letter penned personally to me.  She put stickers on it, recalling funny moments and conversations we’ve had.  It meant a lot. I sat on the couch reading and laughing as my kids kept asking . . . why are you laughing mom?  Who is it?  What is it?

I was on hold with our local bank,  a while back and couldn’t get to a real person to save my life.  Press 1 for this . .  press 2 for that . . press 15 for customer service . . . but 15 wouldn’t work, so I pressed 0 and it would only repeat the recording.  So I waited . . . and waited.  27 minutes into the annoying office music, I had to pee so bad I couldn’t wait.  So I ran to the bathroom, and as I flushed, the recording said:  I’m sorry – I do not understand this message.  Goodbye!

Let me tell you, I saw STARS.  Lord knows, at that point, if a human had answered, I would have burned their ears off.  All this would have been resolved if a real person had answered the phone in the first place.  We will always have the need for human contact, a real voice on the other line, telling us it’s gonna be ok, a pat on the back that we’re doing a good job, a hug, a smile, validation that all is well. My sister and I do this for each other all the time.  I need her, she needs me and after a good conversation, the one who was “off track” is back on board again, whistling a toon.

With Facebook, twitter, email and all the technology we have today, I see less of my friends.  And I take total responsibility.  Before Facebook, I had an Annual Fall Party to catch up and see everyone.  I have a core group of friends that met monthly for GRITS Night (Girl’s Raised in the South) that lasted hours.  Now that I sort of know what is going on in their lives, I somehow felt released from making the effort to get together.  And it has made me miss the girls in my life, the closeness, the laughter, the sharing, the . . .  ”everybody talks at once and we still heard what everyone said” kind of fellowship.

My father-in-law (Grandpa Jeff) is a happy guy.  He’s loyal, friendly and laughs a lot.  Now this didn’t come by happenstance.  He’s surrounded himself with good friends that meet weekly.  He has hunting buddies, fishing buddies and because of this, for him – life is happier and fuller.

When we don’t connect, we feel as if we’re alone.  You’re not the only one with a teething baby who cries all day, but you may feel like it.  You’re not the only one with a rebellious teenager going thru a crazy streak, a business situation that looks bleak, a sibling who never reaches out or a child with a medical diagnosis that looks grim.  You’re not the only one dealing with job changes, divorce, piling bills, spouses going back to school or “Doing Life” on your own.  But without fellowship, we isolate ourselves, and often times we feel as though we’re the only one.

Ecclesiastes 1:9 says There is nothing new under the sun.  What has been, will be again, what has been done will be done again.

So pick up the phone, write a letter, email your core group of friends and plan a “girl’s / guy’s Night Out.  Join a tennis team, a book club, a bible study, go fishing or golfing with a buddy.  And to technology that keeps us away from “Doing Life with others” just say: Sorry, I don’t understand this message:  Goodbye! Here’s to great relationships, life and laughter.

Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart is good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.

Has your life’s Exclamation Point . . . become an Exasperation Point?  The highlights of life can be sabotaged by discontentment, discouragement and frustration.  Sometimes we have to re-arrange the way we do things, in order to boost the energy we need to catapult us to greatness.

When I worked in PR, everyday was crazy, exciting, unpredictable and full of “pats” on the back or “kicks” in the butt; one way or the other, you knew where you stood.  Raising children is a little different.  Often times, nothing too exciting happens during the day – from teaching them Math and having late night talks, to throwing in some “moral character” with a splash of discipline and fun activities.  I’ve worn the heels, gone from suits to sweats and am now somewhere in the middle.

On any given day, I find myself researching a new business venture, catching up on 6 loads of laundry, emailing friends to plan girl’s night out, having a conference call with other moms to discuss a class party, while thinking about how I’m gonna cook chicken for the 3rd time this week, when it occurred to me:  Is this my life?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, the deep kind of happy that a few bad days or set of circumstances can’t steal.

But my life needed a tune up, like a musical instrument or attitude adjustment.  I love my husband; he’s very supportive, loving and fun to be around, and as a bonus, he’s good looking.  I have a small core of really good friends.  I have 4 kids that are loud, fun and interesting.  My life is full, but I knew with the tools and resources I had, things could be better.  I laid on the bed one day and just explained to John how I felt.

WITHOUT fear or threat that perhaps he had not provided a good life for us, he did a little research (another great quality of his – thoughtfulness) and by morning handed me a book, that has taken me on quiet an interesting journey, to fine-tune my happiness from mediocre to deep contentment, where people want to know why you’re smiling.   My quest began with:  The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin.

I’ve heard it said:  When a student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear.  Happiness is a state of mind.  Per Webster’s dictionary, happiness is a state of well being, a feeling of contentment, joy, satisfaction or pleasure.

I felt this, but not to its full capacity.  My mom is always reminding me that my calling here on this earth (no matter what position I hold in or outside the home) is to invest in the hearts of my children.  It’s not about recognition, fighting for a position on the corporate ladder, the need to feel appreciated by the outside world or add another gold star to my collection, but it’s about devoting your time and energy into raising healthy, Godly, well adjusted children that will go into the world with confidence, knowledge, and a sense of community.

But in order to do this, Mama needs to be happy!  And if Mama ain’t happy, well . . . you get the gist.  The first category in the Happiness Project is:  To Boost Your Energy.  To be honest, I’ve never been so tired in my entire life.  Before kids, I trained for a marathon, raced in triathlons and had endless energy.  Now, it’s a different story.

“The Happiness Project” lists 4 things that are needed to “Boost Your Energy:

1) Go to Sleep Earlier

2) Exercise Better

3) Toss, Restore and Organize

4) Tackle a Nagging Task Early

I don’t know about you, but all my life, I’ve gone to bed late, put exercise on my “To Do” List (and rarely crossed it off).  I allow that pesky task to haunt me all day (hoping it will just go away – of course it gets bigger and steals my joy).

It’s like a perfect storm – just as the kids are saying “Mom I’m Hungry (after they just ate) you open the closet – and out springs jackets, scarves and a skate board into the floor, about the time the door bell rings and unexpected company has arrived.  Yikes.  You feel conquered, overwhelmed and under pressure.  Then comes the guilt . . . I’m a terrible mom, how will my kids turn out . . . whaaa whaaaa whaaaa!

1st Month’s Challenge

Challenge 1) Sleep Earlier:

I began going to bed earlier.  Can you say:  Hard.  I starred at the ceiling and noticed all the blinking lights in the room, from the phone to the clock to my lap top, it was like the “Vegas Strip.”  Some people count sheep:  I was counting loads of laundry.  Your body has to be reprogrammed.  But with my next challenge, sleep came earlier and sleep came easier.

Challenge 2) Exercise Better:

I’ve never liked waking up early.  My dad always said “the Sunrise is so Beautiful.” I figure the Sunset looks much like the Sunrise, so I’m ok with that.  But, in order to exercise better, I began taking the kids to school, so I could just keep going – head downstairs and begin working out.  The first week, I didn’t like it.  I felt angry, tired.  The “Work Out” guy’s voice on the DVD annoyed me. But then I created my favorite playlist on my ipod, for better motivation.  Now that I’ve created this routine, I enjoy the time for me.  Plus, when 6:30am rolls around, my eyes just pop open.  Your body gets use to what it knows, getting up and working out.

Challenge 3) Toss, Restore and Organize:

My bedroom closet had become  “Central Station” for things that didn’t have a name, a home or description.  Honestly, I found things I should have taken a picture of and tried to figure out its name on Google.

I had a hard time letting go of comfortable underwear – the kind your mom says you NEVER want to be wearing if you end up in the Emergency Room.  It was hard giving away those red shoes you’ve never worn, but are waiting to find that fantastic dress to match it.

I found parts to toys I didn’t know we had, books I’ve never read,  snack wrappers, gifts that had never been given. . . . and the list goes on.  It took 3 days to cleanse my closet, but in the process , it cleansed my mind.  I found 10 incredible outfits to choose from vs. dredging through piles and baskets of wrinkled things, to discover one sock, jeans I couldn’t wear or a bad concert t-shirt.  Difficulties like this, make your head hurt, especially when you’re in a hurry and need to be somewhere 10 minutes ago.

Challenge 4) Tackle a Nagging Task Early:

Between emails I needed to write, bills that needed to be paid, a conversation that needed to be had or a mess that needed to be cleaned, it haunted my thoughts all day.  It drove me crazy.  Now, I wake up, conquer the the task and feel good about the VICTORY, early on.

Motherhood is NOT easy.  Have you ever spun so many plates or juggled so many schedules?

Probably not, but it’s also Fulfilling and Fun.  Your cup is not full, it’s Overflowing. And if someone came in right now and said:  “I’ll take your place if you’re not happy”  We would karate chop them into a million pieces.  It’s ok to complain, but it’s most important to jump back on the saddle.  Lord willing, this position is for many years to come, thus we need to find that Deep Happiness and Contentment, so when we’re teaching our kids “Life’s Lessons” we’ll find ourselves – Whistling While We Work.

Wanna Boost Your Energy?  Start with you!  You are the family’s “Hub of Communication” the CEO of your household.  Take charge . . . GIRLS!  In cleaning those closets and exercising for you, you’ll feel Accomplished, Organized and Victorious.  Rid your life of Exasperation Points and Make them Exclamation Points to your Happiness! You are More than Conquerors.

Scripture:  Phil 4: 11-13

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

Dr. Suess wrote: Oh the Places You Go . . One of those stops, is the Waiting Place!

Waiting is typically associated with boredom, nothing to do, sort of a wasted space in time.  It can be lonely.  Waiting is definitely not the “Life of the Party.”  No one is jumping up and down, saying, Me Me, can I Wait? It just doesn’t happen.

Don’t you hate to wait?   Waiting for a date to come,

the leaves to turn, the wind to blow, your brain to learn, waiting for a cup of joe, waiting for the grass to grow.

The dictionary defines Waiting as:  to remain stationary, in readiness or expectation, to rest in patience.  I went away on a girl’s 3 day weekend, no ipod, no gadet distractions, but part of the trip was to go out into nature, clear your mind, think, pray and just Be.  It was quiet hard to do NOTHING.  Us women are multitaskers; it’s in our blood to keep the balls juggling’ and the plates spinning’.

After 10 minutes, my mind was empty, except for a long list of to do’s:  buy groceries, fix the car, take Molly to soccer practice, write a story, pay the bills and, well, you get the gist.  I had nothing in my brain to think about, but logistics.  But as I sat there, the clutter and busy-ness began to fade, my brain began to clear and like the sun peeking through the clouds, I began to see things differently. . .

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalms 46:10

We hurry through life and forget to WAIT . .  be still, listen to the birds, smell the roses, get in the floor with the kids, erase the schedule and just be.  You’ll be amazed out how your priorities, your outlook on life will change.

Suddenly, the birds you never heard before, get louder.  The smell of roses get stronger and your life perspective begins to line up.  Those high priorities of work, women’s meetings, charity events and all-day house cleaning marathons don’t have the same importance as they did before.

Like death, taxes and the poor . . . laundry and dirty dishes will be with you ALWAYS.  Our children won’t be young forever, they won’t always be willing to hang with us.  Jump on the tire swing, listen to what they have to say, take a nice walk and wait in readiness and expectation for what is to come.

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Embrace the quietness, for in it, your thoughts, dreams and goals will begin to re-arrange themselves and all the important things will rise to the top and those that aren’t, well . . . they’ll begin to fade.  Take the time to wait, for in doing so . . . Oh, the places you will go!

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The dictionary defines Fearless as: Brave, courageous, unflinching, free, bold, adventurous, triumphant! The opposite of Fearless is Fear, which brings worry, doubt, anxiety and apprehension.

When I was 8 years old, I spent the night at my grandma’s farm house.  She lived in the middle of a 100 acre hay field, with creaky doors and tall 10 foot windows that started at the floor and went to the ceiling.  The light switch was a dangling light bulb that hung over the bed, you know the kind you have to stand up in the center of the mattress and search for in mid-air and then pull a string.  During lightening storms, the house shook, lighting up the entire room and darkness was Pitch Black!

One night, during a storm, I was notified it was bed time.  I tried to walk bravely to bed, but lightening struck and so did my FEAR, right into my throat.  I leaped from the door to the bed in about 2 jumps.  As I laid there, I noticed across the room, what appeared to be a large monster standing over my bed.  I starred it down, and without moving, it just kept looking at me.  It didn’t move; I didn’t move.  I flew under the covers to hide and remained there for about 30 minutes, sweating and wondering if this THING standing over my bed had left.  I peeked over the blanket and to my dismay, it was STILL there.  I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t move.  I was being held prisoner in a dark room by something looking at me!

Finally, when I couldn’t take the FEAR (or the hot blanket any longer) courage rose and I jumped straight into the air, grabbing for the dangling light bulb overhead, ready to fight this thing for my life.  The bulb swung this way and that, before I finally wrestled it down and pulled the string.  To my amazement, someone had hung a trench coat and hat on my bed post! I was being held captive by a trench coat. I was terrified . . . sweating, hyperventilating, and ALL for NOTHING!

We imagine the worst in life:  turn on the news and the economy is taking a nose dive, TERRORism is in our backyard and jobs are being lost at a phenomenal rate.  Will our kids go to college, how will we pay the bills, should I take another job, downsize my home?  We form ideas and imaginations in our head, self fulfilling prophecies that life is not gonna be what we thought it would.  Maybe it’s not.

We cling to Fear like a nice warm coat and those invisible walls hold us, our thoughts and the opportunity our lives hold, Captive!  What if we lived life FREE from FEAR?  Jump out of bed and dive for that light switch, expose it, the lie for which it is and grab FEARLESS by the horns.

How awesome it would be, living life outside the box. Think how different your life could be, if instead of being scared and all tangled up inside (living life in the same old rut), you just started your own business, took another job, downsized your home (this could be an adventure), wrote down that bucket list and began conquering it, took a missions trip and discovered how you can help change the world!  Walk away from the lies of what man says you can and can’t do.

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Grab on to what God says:  All Things Are Possible to Him Who Believes.  Mark 9:23  Jump Fearlessly into the unknown, with no inhibitions!  Be FEARLESS! Life is what you make it.

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Scripture to Ponder:

Let us not become weary in well doing, for in due season (at the proper time), you will reap a harvest of blessings; just don’t give up.  Galatians 6:9

I can do ALL Things Through Christ, who gives me strength.  Phil 4:13

Suggested Reading:  Max Lucado’s Book – FEARLESS

Run the Race Set Before You

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Do you ever wake up and just feel out of whack?  Webster’s dictionary defines “out of whack” as,  well – it wasn’t in there, but the word “unbalanced” was:  and . . . well, you get the gist.  We go to work, to school, do laundry, pay the bills, pay the piper and our list never quiet gets done.  It’s a cycle of sorts, and for the person who likes to see the list complete, done, never to return again, it’s a barrel of disappointment.

Life is a cycle. It ebbs and flows.  There’s highs and lows, kids with good and bad phases, jobs that “Rock” today and “Stink” tomorrow.  Football teams that win big and lose big and this . . . Well, this is Life!

But if we understand this process in life, we’ll understand that when we’re in the Valley, the pain and character we gain from this experience will allow the next train stop to be on the Mountain.  And when we’re on the Mountain, enjoy its beauty.  There is much to learn from all areas of life.  Life is a journey.  The end of the journey is just that, the end.  Usually the planning (all the stuff in the middle – much like a jelly filled donut) is the most exciting part.  Life is not a straight a line with easy answers, but more like a curve chart of “the answer could be this, but it may be that.”

Of course, no one said you have to enjoy the low points: the boss that’s a jerk, crazy employees, sick kids, unanswered prayers and lack of appreciation for those who make sure you have clean underwear, but know that it will get better.  It’s the cycle of life.

Hebrews 12:1 says:  Since we are surrounded by witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders or entangles, and run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

(Translation:  Start running and never quit)!

Webster’s dictionary defines boundaries as:  Something that indicates a LIMIT; a property line. Remember the adage, “Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.?”  It’s true.  From kids to co-workers, family members and friends alike, if you don’t set a firm boundary and learn to say “NO”, you’ll find yourself frazzled.

Ever notice how sweet a person can be when you say the word “yes” to their request or project.  It’s like seeing a little girl skipping through the meadow.  Cue the music,  The person you said “yes” to is so happy, but the minute you say  “no” it’s like a scratch on a record, a slow motion deep voice sound in their ears, nnNNNOOOO! – it’s not going to be pretty. If they’re a true friend, when they hear the word “no” they should respect it and move on.  If they’re not, they will not respect it and you’ll see a facial expression to match it.  It’s as if you’ve snatched a lollipop from a 2 year old . . . it may not be pretty.

‘NO” is one of the smallest words on earth, but one that can wreak the most havoc. Tell a baby NO, and watch them scream, roll on the floor and pitch a fit. Tell an adult “NO” and they may have a similar reaction, just a little more subtle.

People want to get rid of their responsibilities, so they try to throw them on you.  The whole world is like a game of “Hot Potato.”  If you catch it, there’s a good possibility that you’re gonna keep it and believe me, you’re not going hear from the “potato thrower” again.  They’re long gone.

This world is full of Yes-es.  Your boss gives you a project last minute, the class mom says you need to handle the Christmas Play. I’ve seen it time and time again.  We want to please people, to the detriment of our own lives.  You water and fertilize all those around you, except yourself.  But we can’t please everyone.  Heck, if we can please a third of the folks, we’re onto something.  There’s only 24 hours in a day, and we’ve got to sleep, work, eat, do homework, bathe kids, get lunches ready, go grocery shopping, COOK and the list goes on.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t be involved in a charity or out reach and help others when need be, that’s another article in itself, but when it causes you frustration, stress, anger and takes away from the time you should spend with your family, that’s a red flag to step back, pause and learn that 2 letter word, NO!

Did you know that the word “NO” is a complete sentence.  A friend taught me this once.  When you say “NO”, you don’t have to follow it up with other excuses:   Just say . . . No.  And with a smile, leave it at that. You owe no one a long reason behind your answer.  Besides, those really good manipulators will take the reason you give and move heaven and earth so YOU can STILL do it.  Don’t walk into that one.

Let peace be your guide.  I’ve found that when I don’t want to do something and say “yes” anyway, I try to justify that it is for a good cause and not that I caved in, was suckered in, because I was too scared of their reaction.  Your priority is to your family and those around you, come 2nd.

My choice to please, overwrote my chose to enjoy time with my family.  Do you NOT have enough on your “to do list”? I’ve never met a mom who’s “to do list” wasn’t a scroll.  Please, we’re not lacking for things to do in this world.  When you say “Yes” to something you should have said “NO” to, it’s like someone throwing you a bad cough and you’re catching it.  You have to take ownership of something that wasn’t your responsibility and it’s going to sideline you.

Jordan Sparks sings:  Love is a Battlefield, you better go and get your Armor, but you could also add that Protecting your Boundaries is a battlefield.  People are coming on all sides to get you to say “Yes.  “If you begin to say yes to things you should say no to, it becomes a weak link, on the wall of your castle, and before long, everyone will be scaling up the wall.

The world loves it when you say “Yes” because their list just got SHORTER!  If the person you say “NO” to, truly respects you, they’ll understand and move on.  The manipulators aren’t gonna like it; they’ll try to make you feel bad.  DON”T let them.

Time is something you will NEVER get back.  Water your garden, don’t feel obligated to water everyone else’s, out of guilt.  That would be for the wrong reason.  I’ve heard it said: You can never get back a word, after it’s said or time, after it’s spent.  Use your time wisely.

You have to protect your boundaries.  Protect the Fort.  Train others to respect them, but this also means we have to be consistent.  If one wall is weak, that is the door they will always try to enter.

Hold your ground, protect the FORT and learn how to say “NO.”  It’s a complete sentence that will give you your life back.

Recommended Reading:  by: Henry Cloud

Boundaries

Boundaries with Kids