People call or send emails weekly, asking questions about raising kids and I have to say, having 4 does NOT make me an expert, rather a person who’s probably failed many more times than not, doing the wrong thing, more than the average person.  So hey, if you can learn from my mistakes, that’s even better.

I’ve had more opportunities to fail.  Don’t you feel better ALREADY?  And probably apologized way more times than you’ll ever have to, and am always reminding myself that Practice makes Progress.  It’s called Life – and we’re on this crazy journey together.

1) What’s it like to have 4 kids?

The same as having 2 or 3, it’s just exponential with each child.  I have friends who have many more than me, and some with learning disabilities, so I, by no means, have it as hard or feel as frustrated as some moms who really have to kick it in gear when they don’t always feel like it.  To you, I salute your determination.

For us, it’s Crazy and Loud and everyone’s always hungry . . . there’s a ton of laundry.  But I don’t think about it too often.  Mostly because there’s no time.  I spend my days repeating myself and very seldom do I finish a complete sentence, thought or phrase without interruption.  Whether you have 2, 4, 6 or 8, you still have to make dinner, crank up the washer and drive kids around, so – GREAT JOB MOMS!  You deserve to make your own treasure box full of goodies. (www.dancepartyforone.blogspot.com)

2) Friends ask:  Was it hard having 4 kids?

No.  The answer is an Epidural.  That seemed like the easy part, until my epidural didn’t work once, for about 30 minutes, and I heard something in the room that sounded like a wolf howling.  I know, it scared me too.  But when the epidural works, it’s like the Disney Slogan:  It’s a Magical Day!

3) What sort of responsibilities do you give your kids?

Around our house, if 6 people make one mess, it’s gridlock, so everyone is responsible for cleaning up and putting back what they take out.  The kids (no matter the age) help in some capacity with the dishes, the laundry, cleaning their room and feeding the dog.  OK, Max gets jibbed some days, but for the most part, he’s fed daily.  We’re a team – and that means everyone has a role to play for the success of our family.  It’s all for One and One for All.

4) How do you instill a sense of community in your children’s lives?

We can easily become selfish and live in a world that is “ALL ABOUT ME”  It’s important that the kids see it as “WE” not Me.  We’re a community and have to help one another.  I show them pictures of the kids we sponsor in Africa and have them give a percentage of the money they earn through household responsibilities, to purchase items to give as gifts through Samaritan’s Purse.  They get so excited to use their own money to purchase fun items for other children.

5) How do you discipline your kids?

Every child is different. But this is what typically works for us: If the kids get into big fights and the one at fault is unwilling to apologize, I will randomly allow the offended party to decide the punishment.  i.e. the offender goes to bed 15 minutes earlier than everyone else.  That usually does the trick.  Next time, they’ll treat others as they would like to be treated.

If they breach a virtue (i.e. lie, cheat, steal) or disrespect mom, (rolling of the eyes/ slamming the door) it’s immediate corporal punishment.  They already know the rules, so they should consider that, their fair warning.

Carelessness, not listening . . . like throwing balls in the house and breaking things, equates to more chores beyond their regular day to day responsibilities, or taking away games, television, DS.  When we take away one of the big 3, they tend to “turn their ears on” quicker.

6) How do you stop your kids from waking up at 5:30am on the weekends?

There are no cartoons before 8:30am and each child has an electronic clock in his/her room.  They have to sleep or play in their room until they see 8 3 0.  Otherwise, the first task of the day is a chore, such as folding towels or cleaning the playroom.  This usually does the trick and we all get to sleep-in on the weekends.

7)  How do you do everything?

Who says I do.  Between sports, homework, chores, music lessons and life in general, we’ve eaten cereal for dinner on occasion. 85% of the time, the kids take healthy lunches to school.  The other 15%, they eat in the cafeteria.   There comes a time when “the list” becomes too long, the plates need extra spinning and you have to let go of something.  Give yourself permission to Surrender.

There’s no guideline that says we have to raise our kids a certain way.  Make it fun, adventurous, outside the box.  Eat dinner at the park, have the kids make their own lunch for a change.  No one is going to die.  You just need a break to recoup, re-strategize and re-define your goals.  As I’ve heard it said before:  Do your Best and Forget All the Rest.

Do you feel guilty doing fun things for yourself?

Absolutely Not!  You should feel guilty if you DON’T.  As the CEO of my Household, it’s important to take care of me; be a good example of a well-rounded, happy person, engaged in outside events, hobbies, social activities, tennis, date night, spa day, healthy activities that inspire you to be a better mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend.

You want the kids to see that life can be fun after childhood, and if it’s not:  you might need to re-access.  It’s not just about paying bills, cleaning the house and running kids from here to there.  Don’t be a martyr. Life is what you make it: Now get out there and make it FULL, FUN & FABULOUS!

When I moved to Atlanta, one of my new friends invited John and I to meet-up with their friends at a person’s house for a little party, meet and greet.  They sent us an invitation, told us meet them on Tuesday at 7pm at a certain address: in which we would be meeting in the basement, where it was designed to look like a 50′s diner.  Sounds like a no brainer.  And a lot of fun. New town, new friends.

John and I got dressed, drove over to their house, walked in the front door – didn’t see anyone, so we headed down to the basement, “Yes, this is the place – 50′s Diner.”  We waited for 10 or 15 minutes, giving ourselves a personal tour of the house.  Still, no one else had arrived.  John saw their foosball table and wanted to play, but I got this uneasy feeling, so we headed back upstairs.

We came around the corner, and this couple was eating dinner with their 3 kids.  They looked at us, sorta stunned, like:  Who are YOU and WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?  We smiled and said, OH our friend invited us to your house to meet everyone on Tuesday at 7pm.  He slowly pulled his reading glasses down below his eyes and said:  That’s NEXT TUESDAY AT 7PM.

I wanted to DIE of embarrassment.  Honestly, I didn’t want to go back next Tuesday.  They had no idea there were random people in their basement for 15 minutes.  That’s pretty scary to think about.  They kindly invited us to stay for dinner, OH Dear God, I just wanted to run.  Highly embarrassed, we quickly said our goodbyes and jumped in the car.  John shook his head, saying:  This sort of thing NEVER happened to me, until I met you. We laugh about it now.

That’s how it is with God.  No matter how many mistakes and mess ups, regrets, failures, and wrong turns, He invites us back to the table with unconditional love, grace and forgiveness.  No matter what we do or don’t do, whether we’re deserving or not, God always invites us back with an open invitation – a do-over of sorts.  It’s called GRACE.  Pass it along.  Just take note:  The next time you find yourself in someone’s basement, don’t play foosball, until you meet the Host first.  : )

Here’s to GRACE!

Ephesians 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

When I was 11 years old, we had a school fundraiser – selling cookies, and the top 10 winners got a chance to walk on stage in front of the entire school and choose from over 100 items.  It was the ultimate treasure box of electronics, sports equipment and apparel. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.  I began selling cookies door to door and within 2 hours had sold over $400.

My mom was so shocked and amazed at my drive to win a prize, she joined the mission and drove me all over town, ending with $1000 worth of cookies sold by sunset.  I came in 3rd place and proudly walked on stage, glancing at everything carefully, picking up this and checking out that, until my eyes landed on . . . drum roll please . . . a Red Panasonic Cassette Player & Recorder.  I proudly walked off that stage beaming, as if someone had given me a sports car.

Like most kids, mine will do anything for a Gold Star, Money or Prizes from the Treasure Box.  Sometimes I wish someone would give me a treasure box.  I’d surely be more motivated. Why should kids have all the fun?  So when my friend Becky challenged me to write down 10 things under $10 that I could reward myself with, instead of food, I went right to work.

I’m a gift person, so I figured I’d have my list completed within a couple of minutes, but what I realized is:  I knew everyone else’s list, but had trouble figuring out my own.  It’s in our nature to serve others, often times forgetting about ourselves.  It’s much easier to give, than receive.

We’re not used to having the tables turned – instead we’re taking dinner orders, like an overworked waitress handling 6 tables at once, with life’s demands flying on our “to do” list quicker than we can strike them off.

I’m much like the kids – a rabbit chasing a carrot.  You dangle a play pretty in front of me, I’m immediately motivated to do what it takes to get the job done. . . laundry . . . dishes. . . groceries.  If you splash a little motivation in the mix, it’s amazing how much work you can squeeze out of me.

What motivates you?  Create a list of 10 items under $10 and reward yourself!  Here’s my list, to get the creative juices flowing.  Make yourself a treasure box.  You deserve it!

Stephanie’s Treasure Box:

Sleeve of Golf Balls (pink or bright yellow) – easier to find in the woods

Movies: Comedies: Sweet Home Alabama / Christmas Vacation

Inspirational Books / Biography’s / Magazines

Eye brows waxed – this is good for everyone

Fun Jewelry – Rings (Pier One Imports, Target, Art/Glass Shops)

iTunes downloads

Tennis Balls (I love to hear the sound of freshness when I pop open a can)

Colorful knit scarfs

Girlie Baseball Caps

Fun Nail Polish

So here’s to creating your very on treasure box.  Thanks Becky for your inspiration and your blog:  dancepartyforone.blogspot.com

When I was 5 years old, my birthday landed on Easter. There was an Easter Egg Hunt at my uncle Jerry’s and the prize was a Golden Egg.  My heart was racing with excitement as I gazed every nook and cranny of the yard, looking for the prize.  And suddenly it appeared, as if my uncle wanted Me to find it on my birthday  As he presented me with the Prize, out came his wallet and a $5 bill.

You would have thought Publisher’s Clearing House had shown up to my door with a big check.  Stephanie Pletka, you are the winner of. . . drum roll please, $5 Dollars!  Ta Da!  I saw confetti, in my mind, that day.

I took that golden egg (eh hem – boiled egg dipped in gold) to bed with me.  I carried it around in a little tin bucket all week. Till one day, high on the shelf, I discovered that in the middle of the night, ants had made their way up the wall, like a little army, and had destroyed my perfect golden egg.  That egg represented my happiness and just like that:  It was gone!

Webster’s defines happiness as a state of well being or contentment.  They didn’t say anything about a golden egg.

Often times, we carry our happiness around like it’s this fragile object that can be taken away at any moment.  Hello, my name is Surface Happy, a “fly by the seat of my pants” friend.  It’s that (Wear it on your Sleeve) shallow happiness.  With one blow of a horn, talking to a jerky customer service rep or the kids scraping paint off your new car with THEIR bike handles. . . Everything goes to Hell in a Hand Basket.  The minute someone bumps your Happy, BAM, Happiness leaves the building and Crazy takes its place.

Don’t allow those individual circumstances to define your day.  Happy needs deeper roots, like an oak tree planted firmly along a rushing stream.  Don’t let instances beyond your control steal your happiness.

With all the places we go and the things we do, we’re constantly in-and-out of nice and not-so-nice moments.  The kids make you breakfast (ah, how sweet) a parent calls you out on something (ah, I’m a sucky mom).

Of course, we’re gonna feel it in the moment, but we can’t allow those instances to determine the path of our day, or who we are as a person.  We can’t carry the load of those who were mean or rude to us, on our back to the next situation.  We have to isolate it in a box and see it for what it is.  Learn to quickly slosh off the junk and Embrace a sturdier, hardier, healthier, deep rooted happy that can’t easily be bumped, destroyed or stolen.

Your Happiness is no golden egg, rather an Oak Tree not easily moved.  Walk in deep rooted Happy today and when there’s a bump in the road, see it as just that, a bump.  If you can hold on to “Your Happy in Life”, you’ll feel as though Publisher’s Clearing House made YOU the winner, and you may even see Confetti in your mind.  Ta Da!

Here’s to Making Every Moment Count!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

I was 5 years old playing dress up, when I got the bright idea to put on a pair of tennis shoes with a pair of women’s panty hose over the top of them.  While I wasn’t the brightest one of the bunch, I had my moments, but that wasn’t one of ‘em.

When I went to pull off my tennis shoes, they wouldn’t budge.  With the panty hose over the top, no matter how much I kicked, screamed, rolled and slung, those shoes would NOT come off. The more I wrestled, the more frustrated I got, and in the end, I was laid out on the floor, exhausted with stretched out panty hose and 2 shoes draggin’  behind.

That’s how it is with life sometimes.  We try to re-arrange the process, skip a few steps and wonder why life doesn’t work out the way we planned.  Without any prayer, counsel and the attitude that “I’m gonna do this myself, come hell or high water,” we’re wearing our panty hose on top of our shoes.

We skip through life trying to make things work on our own, shoving squares into round holes, wondering why some days, the world is against us.

When the entire time, God is wanting us to Be Still and Know that He is God. Ps. 46:10

Instead of praying about our day, our friends, our choices, our daily decisions that will effect our family and their lives, we just go and do what we want, with little thought or effort about God’s plan for our day, our week, our life.

In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success. Proverbs 3:6.

That means, pray before starting the day.  Pray for good friends, wise choices; perhaps that God will place someone in your path who needs YOU, today. Pray for your kids, that they’ll have favor with their teachers, their friends, their employers.

Placing God first, is always a good way to start the day.  No more spinning your wheels with little productivity.  In the end, we’re not really playing dress up.  This is real life and there’s no time for Panty Hose Drama.

Try New Things and Shake It Up

Over the years, there have been several organizations, ideas, blogs, products and services that have changed my life for the better.  Here’s what has worked for me and I’d like to pass it along to you.

I have a “Great Ideas” file and whenever I hear a great idea, slogan, quote, brand of perfume, website, blog, business strategy, song, commercial, something funny the kid’s said, brand of shoes, mom tip, newspaper article or book idea, I write it down for a day I may need it.  It may not work for me now, but it may later.

iPod with Favorite Music:

Find that special place, whether the park, the local running track or just in your neighborhood.  When you feel good and listen to upbeat music, you’ll walk faster, get your heart rate up, work out issues that weigh heavily on your mind.  You may forget you’re working out.

Helping Others:

http://www.410bridge.org

Partner with an organization, where you connect with non-profits that utilize your gifts to serve others.  Bring fresh water to African nations by giving your money, your time to build wells for clean water:  Help identify and implement solutions to physical and spiritual needs in their community. It’s nice to drink clean water.

Athletics:

Pull out the old Tennis Racquet and build a healthier you:  It doesn’t matter whether you are good or if you even know the rules – who cares.  You’re moving.  You can’t take care of others, if you’re in a mess yourself.  There’s a free public tennis court on every corner.  Put on cute gym clothes.  Statics show, if you look good, you feel good and it makes you want to take care of yourself . . . or maybe you’ll feel guilty if you don’t work out.  : )

Blog:

http://www.dancepartyforone.blogspot.com/

This is a blog about finding YOU again, after having kids, weight gain, being pulled in every direction, till you can’t find YOU anymore.  It offers encouraging articles and videos about finding that “Sexy You” again and creating a dream list of things you’d like to accomplish for yourself.

http://www.franklinmom.com

Nashville mom that shares great recipes, grocery lists, ideas for kids, after school activities, etc).

Books – A Good Read:

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Boundaries by Henry Cloud

In reading these books, I discovered that “NO” is a complete sentence.  You have to take control of your life, or others will do it for you.  An organized house can bring peace to the soul and paying for items in cash can truly keep you out of debt.

I came from the old school:  If you have a check, you’ve got money.  If you have money, spend it.  If you don’t have to pay until 2012 for furniture, don’t.  Wrong Answer!  I never thought I’d pay cash for a vehicle, but that’s the only way we pay for them now.  We buy a 1 or 2 year old car for 1/2 the price with 10K miles on it and enjoy it till it pants it’s last breath.  If you save for something, there is a great sense of accomplishment, that you’ve truly earned it and No One can take it from you.

Flavored Coffee (My favorite):  It’s a hug in a mug and we all need a reward!

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Toffee Mocha Latte

(here’s a tip: soy milk with no whip, takes 100 calories off a grande size drink)

Free Phone App – RunKeeper

Keeps track of distance:  how far I walk or run:  shows calories burned, average miles per minute, current pace, shows GPS Map of your walking pattern, and will post to Facebook, if you choose.

Mac Laptop

Apple provides an amazing assortment of programs and applications to allow your creative spirit to soar; designing your own home movies, writing a blog or book, burning dvd’s, downloading your favorite itunes, cropping and editing pictures for a fun slideshow and the list goes on .

Old Navy – Vanilla Mint Lip Balm (sold at the counter)

When I’m out and about, without makeup, there is something refreshing about putting on a fun, minty lip balm to soften those lips and give you an extra kick in your step.  You almost get an attitude.  : )

Shoes:

http://www.lulus.com

http://www.lulus.com/categories/179/shoes.html&wtid=8449c9b3e4abf08ec7c943d046d1e77e

An amazing assortment of sassy ladies’ shoes that you don’t always find at the local shoe store.  It may even spark an “out of the ordinary – let’s try a new look.”  Hey, can’t hurt to shake things up a little.

I hope some of these ideas help you kick start a New You. Here’s to Shakin’ it Up! Would love to hear your ideas.

It was a gorgeous day out, so I had all the kids playing with those huge bubble wands on the back porch.  As I walked thru the kitchen, admiring all the fun they were having, I didn’t notice they had spilled a pint of bubbles on the floor. I slid across the hard woods, like a cartoon character, trying to grab everything I skidded past to save myself, and landed in the splits by the back door.  I chipped my elbow, sprained my wrist and bruised my knee.

In the blink of an eye, I went from walking across the kitchen floor in running shoes, (thinking fondly of my kids), to landing in the splits by the back door – and didn’t even see it coming. I was totally blind sided by the entire event.  One minute I was here, and the next, I was gone!

There’s a song by Revive, called  ”It Happens in a Blink” and it sure did.

It happens in a Blink

It happens in a Flash,

It happens in the Time it took to look Back

You try to hold on Tight,

But there’s no stopping Time,

What have I done with my Life!

There are 86,400 seconds in a day and we’re not promised them all.

Teach me to number my days, that I may have a heart of wisdom and fulfill my Purpose for this Life.  Ps. 90:12

The clock is ticking, and like characters in a story, none of us know how much time we have left.  Some people pass at the ripe old age of 100, others – due to foreseen illness . . . while many are on our way from here to there, in a hurry, thinking about our next business meeting, what they’re making for dinner, and In the blink of an eye, we’re here today and gone tomorrow.  We’re standing upright, and the next moment we’re doing the splits by the heavenly door.

Make it count, before you turn around and it’s too late.  The Hands of Time are ticking and there are no real do-overs.  There are few things that can’t be recovered in life, and one is Time – after it’s been Spent.

If today was your last day, who would you call, what would you say, how would you do it differently?  It’s easy to say: Live like you’re dying.   But do we . . . Really?

Do our kids know how we feel about them or is work more important?

When I was a kid, no matter what we did for fun or how many times, I always begged for ONE More!  Sometimes you get it, sometimes you won’t.

We get the call in the night, that changes our life forever.  Write the letter, write the book, write the blog, make the call, put down your most pressing issues that really aren’t so pressing.  It Happens in a Blink!

When I was 5 years old, I fell off the top of a bunk bed, dreaming that I could roll forever.  It was a vivid dream of white puffy clouds, until I got a 1/2 roll and Boom, off I went.  My head karate chopped the side of the bed  . . . and I won a round trip ticket to the ER.

From that day on, I became quiet familiar with the Emergency Room, acquiring stitches many more times, before moving out of the “clumsy, oops I did it again” stage of my life.

From reaching up to place a bird in its nest and falling 10 feet, to slashing my ankle in a stain glass shop, it seemed as though I had a scarlet thread of “oppsie daisies” running through my life.

Some accidents involved selfless acts, others involved adventure; and while the memories of those days are vague, the scars still remain.  Sometimes we need those scars to remind us of tough days gone by.  Some people suffer from disease, loss of a job, a child, a home or loss of themselves.

You look at a scar and know there’s a story.  It’s easy to complain.  Complaints seem to jump out at every opportunity and like a ball rolling down a hill, it has its own momentum, taking little effort to sustain:  the kids are driving you crazy, the dishes and laundry are mounting a war, your budget isn’t big enough, the car isn’t clean enough.  We wished we had a grocery delivery service, an errand boy, a nanny, a better job, a bigger house, more time, more money, a date night, someone who thinks I’m right – and the list goes on.

We all suffer hardships and unpleasantries, some more than others for sure . . . I read a blog the other day of a woman who had just had a baby.  She wrote a Top 10 List of all the things she loves about having a newborn.  And also admitted, she could write a list equally as long, listing all the tough – how did this happen, what have I done, this hurts, why won’t they sleep, wha wha wha moments, but she chose not to.

Turn your face toward the goodness, the hopefulness.  Lift up your eyes and count the blessings.  Write them down, shout ‘em from the roof top; however you’re reminded, do it.  Look at the weight you’ve lost, not the weight that remains; be thankful for the car you drive, not wishing for something you don’t; embrace the moments you have with your family; live life to the fullest.  The living room is messy, but you have a house full of happy kids.  In the Race of Life, we can choose to focus on the moans and groans, and heavy breathing to the finish line, or we can be thankful that WE’RE BREATHING!

Life on this earth will bring heartache, you can count on it.  I’ve never met anyone who’s truly lived, that didn’t bare a scar.  What is your view from the front porch looking’ in?  Will you look at the scar and view hardship or what you gained through the experience.  You’re alive . . . every day, hour and minute, you can have a do-over to make this life, Something Beautiful.

A Word to the Wise: If you find yourself on a bunk bed, dreaming you can roll forever . . . Don’t Do It!

Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14)

Growing up, my Dad always said:  There’s a Hard Way and an Easy Way.  For whatever reason, I chose the hard one- and ended up with a few more beats, bumps and bruises along the way.

Probably like you, our kids wake up for school in the dark.  I’m not a morning person.  I would much rather see the sun Set than the sun Rise; and I’m a firm believer it’s not truly daytime, when the moon is still up at 6am.

I’m always asking moms how they handle morning routines, after school snacks and endless laundry.  There’s no reason to re-invent the wheel.  I’d rather copy it.

Does this sound familiar?  I would get up 30 minutes before the kids woke up, commence to make lunches and realize we’re out of bread.  Hmmm . . . there’s no cereal for breakfast and only 3 mis-matched socks in the laundry basket.  I was spinning my wheels, trying to re-configure Plan A with Plan C about the time the kids were waking up.

“Mom!  said child #1:  Where’s the socks . . . One is crying, I don’t want to take a frozen burrito to school – there’s no microwave.”  Child #3 is still sleeping, after I’ve run up the stairs twice to wake him and Child #2 is upset because he wanted cereal, instead of last night’s pork chop for breakfast.    Poor kids, what a mess.  If only I were organized!

I have 3 boys in school:  Pre-k, 1st & 3rd.  I know what it’s like to bribe, fight, cry and whine my way through morning rush hour to get them to brush their teeth, eat breakfast and get dressed in the morning.  Then one day, after dreading the morning routine, I decided enough was enough.  I’m the boss of this joint and I’m not gonna take it anymore. If there was going to be a Revolt, it was coming from me!

And just like that, the Pletka family went through boot camp 101.  Like a captain in the Army, I put them in a single file line and we marched from upstairs to downstairs, acting out the way I wanted “Morning Routine” to look like. The baby followed along with her blankie dragging behind.  No more whining . . . no more crying . . . no more “I don’t wanna wear that.”  Nope, nada, nein, not gonna happen.

I lined them up one by one and asked:  Are you potty trained?  Yes Mom!  Do you know where the spoons are located?  Yes Mom.  Do you know how to pour Milk? And the list went on.  Just like the movie Dodgeball, in a scruffy, old, cynical voice he said:  If you can Dodge a Wrench, you can Dodge a Ball . . . My theory was:  If you can pour milk, you can feed yourself!

And this is how it went down: I began placing cereal in a bowl with a spoon in it, the night before.  All they have to do is pour the milk and eat.

In the evenings, when we make lunches for the kids, I lay out their clothes, socks, shoes, back packs, lunch boxes, the whole enchilada, to make this portion of the day, run like a well-oiled machine.  If a pair of socks or one shoe is missing, it can be a deal breaker – put a glitch in the morning, maybe miss the bus and everyone’s in a bad mood.  If Jr.’s shoes are outside under the trampoline, you’re up the creek.

We placed alarm clocks in each room, so they go off at the same time, or pretty darn close.  They come running down the stairs, trying to pass each other along the way.  It sounds like a herd of animals running on their heels, beating and thumping all the way down.  This, in turn, becomes my alarm clock.

While one is eating breakfast, the other brushes his teeth and yet another is putting on his clothes.  They circulate through the 3 step process with minutes to spare.  Life is much better, now that we have a system in place.  They feel a little more independent, I’m relinquished of my role as drill sergeant and am realizing these little guys are growing up fast and I need to freeze frame all the moments.

Life has changed.  We sleep a 1/2 an hour longer, lunches are pre-made at night, outfits are pre-approved and the kids are much happier.

I’m amazed at how children can step up and make it happen, when we raise the bar and increase our expectations of them. There’s a Hard Way and an Easy Way, both with the same destination, but how you get there, can make ya or break ya.  Enjoy Your Life!

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, so when he’s old, he will not depart from it.

The other night, about 3am I woke up to a loud thunderstorm.  The entire room lit up and our dog Max, (a terrier slash fox hound – whose talents include jumping, digging and howling like the hound that he is) was shaking uncontrollably underneath the bed.  He was deathly afraid of the storm, and with every tremble . . . he farted.

We’ve had this dog 10 years, and I’ve never known this to happen.  Of course, it’s never on John’s side of the bed, always mine, but it wouldn’t matter.  If a tornado took the roof off the bedroom, John would continue to sleep.

I have to say, Max has been through a lot in his 10 years with this family.  In the beginning, (BK) Before Kids, he was the Prince of the House.  He wore sweaters, napped at the end of our bed, had a constant stream of bones and toys at his disposal.   Life was one big adventure.

As time went on and kids began to infiltrate our home, one by one, he moved lower down the totem pole.  At this stage, he’s just excited that someone remembers to feed him.  Good ole Loyal Max.  When we brought him home from the animal shelter, we proudly bestowed him with the name Jack.  A good solid name for a terrier, don’t ya think?

One year into enjoying our little Jack, we found out we were having a boy, and the name Jack suddenly became a valuable commodity.  My husband’s name is John and he wanted his son to be named after him, but we did not want to burden the kid with being John the 4th.   So we changed the dog’s name from Jack to Max and gave it to our son.   Poor thing was confused for . . . who am I kidding — he’s still confused.   He’ll come to anything you call him.

So when I woke up, it wasn’t the lightening that acquired my attention, it was the smell of FEAR, that smelled like a fart.  That’s the way it is in life.  We fear the storm, we fear failure, we fear loss of a job, we fear lack of safety for our children.  Fear is like an electric fence you can’t see, with signs hanging everywhere -  “Beware”, “Feel Guilty” “Don’t Forgive” “Don’t Try This”, “Failure Isn’t An Option” You’re a Loser” “Don’t Rock the Boat”  “You Won’t be Accepted” . . . It holds us prisoner within invisible borders, whispering to us in the night.

Don’t allow FEAR to get its tentacles in you.  Instead, embrace life, get up and grab it by the horns; write your own signs:  Seize the Day, Try New Things, Do Your Best & Forget All the Rest, Failure IS an Option.  We learn when we Fail.  Of course, we don’t want to fall, but if living in Fear of Failure is gonna hold you back from pursuing a life of meaning, adventure, peace and purpose, then it has to go.

You don’t want to wake up in the night and smell fear. It presents itself in various forms, shapes and sizes, often renaming itself, in hopes of disguising its identity.  You can put new clothes on it, maybe add some lipstick, but it’s not your friend.  Just like Max trembling under the bed in unproductive Fear, (not the adrenaline rush you need, before standing in front of a crowd) but the kind of fear that holds you captive, holds you hostage to the great life you deserve – Fear, by any other name, is just a bad smell.

Now go out and live the life of Purpose and Meaning that God has called you to live – and embrace the adventure.

Fear not, I have redeemed you.  I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.  And through the rivers, they shall now overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.  And the flame shall not consume you.  Isaiah 43: 1-2